I am bringing you all to church with me in this blog, hope you don't mind. Have you ever just sat to wonder why we are taken to certain places in our lives?, why we get taken to a specific job, place where ever it may be?, I use to get so frustrated thinking oh my goodness how am I here and why am I struggling, why am I put in these circumstances, why do I feel so frustrated with every job that I do?. However as I sat to think of my life and the direction I thought I have been going was possibly what I deserved, that I was not good enough, that I was doomed for a life of frustration, stress and difficulties.
Once I really started to think of it all the light came on inside of all of me. It was then I noticed through once stopping all that negative thoughts on all I been through and where my life brought me, that I started to see that it was not so harsh as I felt it to be. Not sure if anyone out there is feeling this right now in their life, however if you are you need to be able to reach and look past that negative that tries to bring you down, you need to look into the deep of it all. The people brought in your life, the smiles you put on others faces, the ear you lent to someone you did not even know to see them smile and be forever grateful you just listened.
That you by the tiny little gesture of listening have made their day so much brighter knowing someone does care. My life has brought me through so many places that to me at the time felt as bad, dark and just places I was so frustrated for not seeming to be that dream job I always visioned for myself. However once I started going through all I have done through all those jobs that it was the people that I have encountered that smiled, that appreciated knowing that they were heard, the help I gave, the advice I lent, just my time I gave to them, that is when I started to smile, you see it was not the jobs, it was the people I do believe that at that moment of time needed me to be there.
Still to this day that has not stopped, is the universe speaking loud to me?, deeply felt I do believe it has spoken many times. That no matter how frustrated, stressed and low you may think your job makes you feel that you are in is not where you wanted or visioned yourself to be that all of it to me is the people I am in contact with every single day, that it is the people that I help, that I get to smile, that I let vent with an ear and shoulder to lean on, that, that right there is my love. That is my passion, to truly help those no matter who it may be, that I'm all in when they come to me to talk, to vent to even just stand with.
This job where I am right now in my life gives me great satisfaction in knowing just how many encounters I have had to so many souls wandering, coming to me even if they did not know me, that they felt it in their heart that they could approach me to bare their soul. Each morning I take the time to get my coffee of course at a place near by my work, never in my life have I ever encountered so much from perfect strangers, from someone that actually perhaps felt it was ok to just have a conversation with me, to bare the hard truth and to be that person to listen truly and let them know they are being heard, to show compassion to how they are feeling, to give words of encouragement and compassion, then to see them smile is so enlightening to my very soul.
You see I been looking way too far into the hardships of my day at work, the frustration and stress that the bigger factor of it all is being unseen. That everywhere you go is not going to be all rainbows and butterflies, that life itself is not all about a streak of forever good days. That you take all of your love, passion and purpose and use that towards life and every person that crosses your path, the lost souls that just want to be heard and feel validated.
The one day going again to that one place as I am starting to feel is the corner where I truly am suppose to be. It was a cold day, snow was everywhere, snow banks were almost as tall as I was, as I walked to my spot to grab my coffee as I do every single day, in the distance there seemed to be someone, a lady laying in a snow bank not moving, as I walked I seen cars driving by her not even stopping to see if she was OK, people rushing by as well not even giving a care that this lady lay with no movement in this snow bank.
Running to the lady I see her hand clenched to her purse and coffee mug, immediately I start to ask her questions getting her to answer me, to see if she knew what was going on and remember what had happened to her. She answered me her name was Sarah, then also that she had diabetes, that she did not remember what happened, as I looked up there was a man standing outside his store and yelled to me he would call the ambulance for her, standing there not wanting her hand to be under her in the snow I moved it out onto her jacket, taking her mug and purse out of hand, I crouched down to stay with her to keep her talking and to keep her coherent, she was in and out of it while I stayed and talked with her.
Within seconds the sirens get loud, the ambulance come, the driver looked to me and said "thank you for taking action and staying, that if not for me he was not sure what would of happened to her". That was then I stood in total shock and just cried, thinking to myself what if that was me?, what if that was someone I loved?, my family, my friends.
You see looking past all my bad days and hard times in this job it's not about that, life is not perfect it is about all the amazing people at work that have been brought into my life, the endless encounters I get on that coffee shop corner of so many people who just feel that their life is ending, that no one cares, that no one hears, yet here I am, I'm hearing, I'm there, I'm listening, I'm showing that their life is not at the end that hard times are the strength of what the best of what we deserve will come through it all.
That all these people know they are heard that even just a smile from another that I have put on their face is my validation that God has truly brought me to where I am for a reason, to spread my love, to spread my compassion and the true desire to help so many that I can. So it's not about my hardship where I work and all bad days it's the redemption in knowing no matter how hard times may seem that in the bright light it is about encounters of so many lonely souls wandering this world knowing that they are heard and cared for no matter what, that I am the reminder to them that their life is given to them for a reason.
It's the happiness through those hard days that suck your soul you reach for that strength in knowing that you are doing good in this world for others, that your surrounded by so many that support you, that enjoy your presence and respect you. That your hard work is all working in the best interest to the path that you tread. To see that all of what you do no matter how hard or stressed you may feel through each day that life has been given to you with a purpose. To see that you get that purpose to use it every day is your bright light shinning through validating the strength that you have to endure all that you do.
The coffee shop corner is my portal to the other part of my job in life, to smile to all the wandering lost souls knowing that they see you are there seeing them, smiling to them knowing they are important and here on this earth for a reason and to be that reminder to them always for every day that I stand at that corner sipping on my coffee, taking in all that is around me. Just the other day a man sitting on a bench that others would look to as someone who may of been too scary to get close to, I listened to his story, his remorse and his tears he had shed for how sorry he was for what he had done in his past life, looking to him I smiled and told him " that your past does not beat your present, that he is walking and alive for a reason to change, that we all get our second chance", as scared as I was listening to the bad he had done in his life did not matter as I seen the tears roll down his face.
That corner truly to me is a God sent to me as afraid and sometimes so tired I feel, that not anyone will ever just past by me and be ignored if they reach out to me to want to talk, to know they are heard and alive. My job has brought me to this all and truly in my heart know this is Gods way of speaking to me of the great purpose he put in my heart and that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.
It's also about that showing me it's ok to be 40 and have a crush, now that's a whole story of it's own for another day. I am truly blessed and most definitely know now that it's not about what you may seem is not a dream job you feel you are not in, that it is your dream that you make of it and use your gifts no matter where you may be, that no matter where you go stress, frustrations and bad days will always happen you just have to reach beyond that, breathe and gain your strength to see the bright through it all. Funny how all my life I have always been the person everyone felt to come to with their hardships, not ever seeing it that so many felt so comfortable to just speak their hearts and truth. That to this day now I truly understand the true meaning as to why that is.
