Stay Beautiful and Maintain Who You Are

In the hardest darkest of your pain it is up to us to push ourselves forward.  Through the toughest of times I kept myself up.  I kept myself doing my hair, doing my make-up, dressing, all things that made me feel good.  Understanding while reading this your saying “yea easier said than done” no actually I’ve been there; I’m living the grieving journey as I type.  Through my experiences that I’ve been through I send them out to all of you.  So you can use what I have done to your knowledge.  So you too can see that if I been there, done it, then you as well can to, I’m no more special than any of you.  If we strive to make it through, WE MAKE IT.

My days are not always good, I still have the tears as well as pain, and I’m not here to say I’m fully through it.  I’m here to share to all of what I’ve taken in to reach out to all of you and your hearts.

Things that helped me while juggling pain, tears, darkness, tremendous aching of my heart:  making yourself feel good radiates from within yourself out.  Do the hair, the make-up, do the nails, get dressed even though not going nowhere, this still helps you from within yourself out.  While doing all of this our mind eases up, letting us focus on something else other than the pain.  You also start to notice if you can do this other small tasks to the biggest of tasks can be done, baby step, by baby step.

DO NOT let others relate victim to widow, you are not a victim of any circumstances; you are the HERO to all of your stories.  We widows need others to see that being a widow is not of our choosing, that being a widow does not mean we are neither bitter nor emotionless. 

I ask of all of you to ask yourself what it is that makes you feel the littlest of happy.  Think of what it was that gave you that tickle in your belly.  From that one little feeling you feel while thinking of it, use it to push you forward, use it to help you motivate.  Soon enough you will start to see that you can do it, you can make it through the days.  Widows need to show the world we to got our DIVA SWAGGER, that being a widow doesn’t mean we gave up, it means we are building to a new improved new life. 

There are so many things that progress on our path of grieving but it’s in all of us as well as up to us to see the light from a far.  Through the starting a new you find things you thought were never there, this builds to a new, strong confidence.  So maybe in the start of it all none of this is recognized.   Soon enough as you start making it day by day things start to appear, your eyes start to open to all of the beauty that surrounds you.  What I’m trying to say is in the beginning you’re so consumed of pain that your hopes get smothered by the pain, but your hopes are still there, they never leave you.  Allow yourself to understand that although right now you feel hopeless that in time your pain can no longer out do your hopes.

For me I always made myself go for a walk, to prove to myself there is still a world out there, that it did not stop for me, that people were still living their life that maybe the one person getting into their car to run errands could very well possibly be grieving to.  So if they kept on with their life, I could do it as well.  However all walking with grief should walk with ease, be gentle as well as taking the time to be present. 

Do not ever get frustrated if you have not completed what you were supposed to because by the end of the day you should be proud of the fact that you have made it through yet another day of grieving.  If you have gotten up, did yourself up as well as got dressed then you have conquered more than you know. 

NOTE TO ALL:  Nails did, make-up done, hair done, dressed, checked to all equals all that you need to worry about if need be for that day.  By seeing our outside looking good our inside feels good to.  Notice others in the world, take note that they see you you’re not invisible; you are also not EVER ALONE.  We all put the sexy back in widow, being a widow proves to all that there is nothing we cannot make it through.  Say “so what” to the title and keep on being beautiful as you were, as you are still.  WIDOW=STRONG.  Once you realized that you are making it through the toughest of all, you then start knowing there is not one thing that can be any worse than what you have faced.