How to celebrate your loved one

 

WHAT WE DID TO GET BY: CELEBRATING YOUR LOVED ONE EVEN THOUGH THEIR NOT HERE

THROUGH HOLIDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, BIRTHDAYS ETC

So from the beginning of the horrific path of terminal illness I was walking through with my husband, I always kept in mind our little girl.  It was one of my truest of passions; to make sure she maintained happiness no matter what darkness surrounded my days as well as nights.  I strived for ideas, for simple of things that I could do to keep her life as normal as could be, as well as happy, with full of love. 

For myself, I was nowhere near feeling ashamed to reach out to my family for help.  When times got tougher as the terminal illness got worse, I asked my Mother along with my Aunt to come stay with me, not only for myself but for our little girl most importantly.  I knew all of my time was being consumed by the most hurtful thing that could have ever happened to us, so having the most important people close to us, with us, was for sure to be of a great significance to the happiness of our little girl.  The one thing I was never ashamed of to do while in my worst of pain was to reach out to ask for help.  My pride never got in the way of me asking for help to feel as well as get better.

I’m sharing this for the reason that this was my first steps in taking to mending our little girls’ heart, surrounding her with the people that love her the most. 

As we walked the road of grieving there were the littlest of things I discovered that we could do, thinking it would be most helpful  for her coming to realizing it was for me as well.  As I spoke of before we started the releasing of balloons with our thoughts attached to it in a note.  Saying our goodnights at night, along with a prayer.  It is not only of great help to children but to us as well, it was a shock to me to find out such little things was of the most helpful to me as well, still is. 

The days keep passing by in this life we live while grieving, so through it I chose of little things to do, to try to ease our pain.  Through it I’ve found so many helpful ideas to mend our hearts as we embarked on to the important days that were of great significance to us as well as our loved one passed.  As his Birthday approached I decided to celebrate it, even though not here his Birthday was still of worth to celebrate.  Through the planning, running around, I realized that is how I and my daughter released our pain, being with his family, loved ones celebrating his life was how we put the dreaded day of missing him in the back of our minds.  All of us gathered together for cake, supper, reminiscing along with all of us letting go of balloons in the back yard, has led us through a day that could have been full of pain instead was full of love.  Something I felt would be such a painful gruesome day was quickly forgotten through love as well as celebration with his family.

From that day on me and my daughter faced the holidays, anniversaries, the many days of significance in the same manner, celebrate not morn.  For Christmas we hung an ornament on our tree in his name, I light a special candle on each and every day I miss him, I purchased a card for anniversaries to fill it with what it was I felt.  Whenever our little girl looks to me with sadness we immediately start reminiscing of her Daddy, for her to hear of the memories they shared brings that sparkle back in her eyes, along with the brightest of smile to her face. 

No matter how odd or out of this world you may think others will think things are that you choose to do, don’t let that change your thoughts.  It is you as well as your ways to deal with your grieving.  We are all different, we do things differently.  It is up to no one else but you to do whatever it may be to get through the toughest of days.  If your loved ones are truly there for you, they too will embrace your ideas to be on board with you.  Do whatever it may be to push you forward, to get yourself through the pain, to get past another day in your grieving journey.  Find your happiness to healing, in whatever it may be to turn your dreaded days into total brightness, look for the light in the darkness you face.  Always remember it is truly of the littlest things that brings us happiness and light.

Note to all:  Most of all always remember our child/children need to always feel comfort, happiness as well as reassurance.  If for anyone it’s for them we must keep a happy, positive upbringing, along with environment.  They feel what we feel so it is up to us to mend their pain, to let them know we will get through this; we will find happiness and hope ALWAYS