Even after you made it through the first significant moments

So even after making it through the first year of all holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, it has come to my attention that going through it all again will be just as hard as the first time around, if not a little harder.  Not to say this to scare all that grieves, yet to give a heads up so when your dealt with the strong emotions you will know that it is not you going crazy, it wont feel as though you are not doing all you need properly.  As I sit back thinking of my husband passed Birthday approaching I feel emotions that are very strong, for a second I feel something is wrong, something is not right, I should not feel like this even after a year, well that is where all of us grieving go wrong, there is no right, there is no wrong, there is no limits to grieving as well as to your emotions.  As I thought of things one thing came to mind, during the first year of all these significant days I realised that the timing is so soon, some may be in the state of shock, numbness,  that making it through these days makes it easier for us, understanding the second time around that could very well be the reason why felt so hard, the numbness, denial, fog,  has all lifted leaving us to completely feel it all.

So to all the next time around I say be easy with yourself, don't make it any harder to go through by worrying how bad the pain still feels, know in your heart that it is OK and that pain will lead to your grief releasing a little out of you in to the air, cherish the day, remember your good times, pay tribute to your love, understand in your heart that on this day there are no rules, no judging, it is a day to just feel, to celebrate, to love.  If for some reason you find yourself comparing to last time around, change that thought to understand that back then you were not truly feeling it all, that in some ways you wore an Armour.  Just know that no matter what you may feel that it is OK, that maybe next year it will be the same, yet it is ours to own, to accept, to come to peace with and just let it be. 

Last year I was so proud of myself, I was happy how I payed tribute to my husband passed, celebrating his life, eating cake, balloons let go in to the sky, doing all of his favourite things, making it through the day was enough.  Looking back I see that most of us will automatically feel "well since we made it through that year the next should be easier", do not put a limit on it, if it is it is, if not that is OK to.  It is most likely it won't be easier that is what we have to understand, if it is not its OK, we all will make it through it, by the end of the day smile knowing you made it through another year, be easy on you along with your heart.  The only thing that matters is you reflect on good thoughts, good times, feel that special love that you shared with your loved ones passed, celebrate that love, look up and smile to the clouds.

I want all to know that what ever it is you feel it is OK, that we all are different, that no matter what it is for you to feel it, if people around you say different it is not for them to say, it is your grief, it was your life, how you feel is not no one Else's business to judge.  Sometimes those who do not go through losing someone close know not how it feels, that reaching out to us to try to make us feel better comes out in the wrong way.  Listen to your heart to know you are going to be OK, that what you feel is your hearts way of telling you it misses the life that has changed so very much.  It is your hearts way to remind you that the love is there, it still feels the love you shared so strongly with your loved ones passed.  FEEL IT, EMBRACE IT, BE LOVING TO YOURSELF.  On these days it is up to us to do all of what makes us Happy, it is up to us to choose celebrating, that even though many tears are shed there is celebration still happening, celebration of love, celebration of memories, celebration of your loved ones passed life.

This year as last year I know my heart will be celebrating, even through the pain I will celebrate my husband passed life, his love, I will celebrate how grateful I am for his TRUE LOVE that blessed our life.  Balloons, cake, family, cemetery, all his favourite things will all be done.  No matter how many tears that fall my heart will feel the pure joy of his love.  So through this I say through the pain will come joy, smile, hope,love, you will feel it all.  Just be easy on you, no judgement, no stress in thinking its not right to feel the way you do because it is,  always will be.  Baby steps are a must through every second, minute, hour, surround yourself with support as well as love, through it all the blessings of your love will be noticed making the tears turn in to a smile, hope, belief.

There is no easy way to make it through the pain yet through it we see we have made it through, we see that through it all here we still stand, seeing that makes us understand that the strength in us as well as our hearts was always there, we just have to take those little steps to get to the end to know YES WE CAN DO IT, our loved ones passed love bless our hearts in our time of need, it is their love that helps us make it past the pain, it is that love that helps us find our smile.  Their love is to be honoured, after all it was their love that blessed our life to make us so very happy each day they were with us, so why let that pain take that away.  Feel it yet smile through the tears knowing their love is the greatest gift to your life.  That through it all they are with us pushing as much as needed to get us through it, to get us through obstacles we face.  CELEBRATE YOUR LOVE, CELEBRATE THEIR LOVE TO YOU.

The days are tough, maybe some days tougher yet in us all is a strength to find to help us keep moving forward, there is something with in us waiting for us to grab a hold of, our tears are ours to shed, yet in time your heart feels lighter, your heart opens to embrace the good memories, after the rain the sun always shines, so like the sun shine bright to show the world today is the day you celebrate the love of your life that has gifted your heart. 

Our loved ones passed will touch our hearts always, tears will always be, so will pain yet it is in that all we find the beauty, blessings, gifts to our lives, to our hearts.  Moving forward little by little we leave little pieces of the pain behind us.  So remember on all significant days the pain will be, the tears will be but most importantly your hope, belief, love, smile, will always shine brighter then the pain along with tears, your loved ones passed love is a gift, not pain nor tears have a part in that love.

NOTE TO ALL:  Don't lose track of the one most important thing their love is a gift, the pain along with tears take no part in that, so on the days of significance CELEBRATE, LOVE, SMILE, BE PROUD, know in your hearts it is not every person who shared the love we all have had in our life.  Our loved ones passed gifted our hearts, our life it is up to us to keep that gift alive, it is their legacy we need to carry with us out in to the world to share with others, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  Be easy on you, baby steps, through the little steps the day will soon enough be over, that is when you need to smile and be proud of what it was you made it through.

P.S ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR HAPPY THOUGHT, HAPPY MOMENT.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF JEAN GUY OUIMET

OCTOBER 21, 1950

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

OUR LOVE IS FOREVER

 



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Things I know for sure

I am a mother before I am anything else, I strive to be the role model I want my daughter to be as she grows.  From the pain to the happiness I always make sure that through me she will see that nothing in life can keep you down, that through it all no matter where you are you will always be able to conquer the dreams you hold from within you.  That through me she knows there is always hope, that there is always belief, there will always be a light in you no matter how dark.  If anything it is us our child/children look up to every day of the life they live as they grow. 

Through this past year losing my husband has brought out such horrific pain yet it has brought out the gift I have always held inside me that I have been over looking for so long.  It is through this past year I have truly been tested, each as well as every time I have stood up, knowing my daughter deserves to see just what exactly we are capable of in this life we live, for her I want her to see strength, challenges, I want her to see that no matter how dark she will always be able to turn on her own light.  When she looks up to me as her role model I want her to know in her heart there is nothing we can not do in this life, that together we will always be a light shinning brighter then any other light known.  That although we have lost part of our heart that it will always be there, that piece will never leave us, although broken it is in that piece where that special love will always remain, that her father although unseen will forever wrap us in his love, that forever he will be our strength.

So yes I am a mother, I am a dreamer, I am a strong person who knows deep inside just what it is I am here to do, through my husband passed has left me a gift, a gift to share with other broken grieving hearts.  it is his unconditional love that I carry with me out in the world to touch all that I can.  I understand within all of me that dreams are our reality waiting for us to set it free.  I am a woman that strongly holds the love of great light, that through me I can mend as many grieving hearts as needed.  My dreams unfolding happen through this all, writing a book for grieving with Michael Lawrence backed by Scott Lazerson, that just the other day was a dream but as I type it now is a reality.  Becoming a group grief counsellor is happening in the new year, that too has been a long time dream now becoming a reality.  As I type the biggest of all becoming a celebrity blog for the grieving, being able to take this blog to t.v, sounds like a big dream yet in my heart in due time there is not one thing that I can not make my reality.  I always say and know in my heart "I want to be the legacy that mended all the broken grieving hearts" to this day I know my heart, my love is stronger then anything that steps in my way, I know in time as I unveil all of my fears my dreams will be there, these dreams will be there.  That's the funny thing about dreams,  say it out loud to get your words out in to the universe, it will hear you.

A dream that never thought of has presented itself to my life OWNAMBASSADORS, OWNTV, all due to Oprah leading them in to my life, these people were sent into my life at the most perfect of time that typing this still stuns me that just how perfect the timing was, to have these beautiful, bright lights shine through all my darkness is truly what opened my heart to this new world I see, that has always been around me, not noticing due to my own darkness. I believe strongly within my heart that when life sends to you a dream never thought of that it is God sending you his love through others in your time of need.  They say "God never gives you what you can't handle", yes that is the truest of all and is why we are sent the most beautifulest of angels. 

This blog is dedicated to the universe, my words are said out loud, I know in little by little I will unveil my dreams as time goes forward, as I face challenges that lay in front of me, carrying the truest of love with me there will be nothing that can not be done, that through this love I hold to share around me the pieces will naturally come together like a puzzle being done by our very own fingers.  As life continues to go by, we have to understand that in us all we have ever thought of is evolving, no matter how long, how short, it all becomes that one big picture we have envisioned for so long.  No matter who we can not see by our side, that no matter who we have lost they now lay in the universe to bless our dreams, our thoughts, they are not to be seen just felt, they remain with us all along.  This little ole me can change anything she sees fit, the power of your beliefs are unstoppable, the power of your life is stronger then anything you can think of.  Dreams are all around you, in the most strangest of places thought of waiting for you.

So with me I take our love, I move to a life that I have always dreamed of with our beautiful little girl, we move forward to the life we always thought of, yes as we look beside us someone is missing yet we know he really is there, just not to be seen.  I know now that in your pain lays your blessings, in your lows lays your strength teaching you just how strong you have become.  I know in your lowest you build a foundation that can never ever be broken, as high as the clouds.  No matter how low you go there is never any where else to go to but as high as the clouds.  When you feel at your lowest smile knowing that in that low is a little blessing waiting for you to find, allow yourself to open your heart, to feel your love, to use your love.  So I am a mother, yet in the motherhood I've become love, I've become a role model, I've become a woman making her life the best that we could of ever dreamed of. 

Today grief is something all people are speechless about, it is a topic that is voodoo to so many, in due time this little ole me will make that blossom, people will talk freely of it, out loud, no one will feel uncomfortable to speak the words of loss, everyone will understand how it is to be comfortable, to be able to approach those that grieve, grieving is like sex back in the day so hush, hush, but today I make it no longer hush, hush, I will make it as natural as it is to talk about sex.  Little ole me has a vision, yet I know in me there are no obstacles I can not do, I know within me alone that if fought long enough it will be.  Within us all is a person with a special quality to change this world for the better, we just have to reach in us to fight to find it.  I am so proud that in my life my husband passed was a gift to prove to me unconditional love exists, that within him was a gift to gift to my life, to open my heart, mind along with soul to what it was my special quality was to change this world.

So in this life we live there are always something for us to dream of, there are always challenges that make us move from our comfort zones yet it is in that space where we need to be to find little pieces of our dreams, it is in us all to understand that not one person does not possess these little pieces of dreams.  Mothers out there this is a job that is truly like no other, the toughest job we bare yet in us all lays the truest, greatest of role models for our child /children to look up to, to know that through us their life is a shinning light to never be shaded.  Being a mother is truly the one greatest of miracles we carry with us through our entire life, every single day.  Its a blessing to us all to use it with nothing but pure, unconditional love.  Show our child/children that nothing is impossible, show them that love is what needs be in this world.  I say that no matter how big or small dreams are they are ours to happen, they are ours to teach us things in this life we live.  Say it out loud for everyone to hear, let the universe share your words. 

This was all intended to be a biography yet has turned into so much more, this all I can truly say is a piece of my heart, secrets that I have always felt shy to say ALOUD, yet in that fear of speaking out loud I come to realise that it is just that,  a fear, in that fear I know lays my dream, to say out loud uncovers it, fears no longer will take control of my thoughts, tonight I make peace with the fears, I know that in them all pieces of the puzzle to my dream will connect.  Make peace within you to feel nothing but quietness all around, take the stand to boot the fear out for good.  Tonight I type away a little piece of my heart, thoughts that I have never really wanted to say out loud, yet it is in the out loud dreams are being made.  Always speak out loud, keep nothing in silence, no worries of what others may say, feel, think, its not them to be worried about, your life is for you, your special gift is for you no matter what others may think of it.  Always say to anything presented to you that seems over powering "BRING IT ON" not anything over powers your love nor your strength, in that challenge is your lesson in your life you need to be taught.

NOTE TO ALL:  Be the person that you were gifted to be to this world, deep down inside you is someone to change this world for the best, not one person is hollow with out this.  Take your love gifted to you to use it out in the world you are in.  Perhaps through you and your experiences lays a teacher to someone else that crosses your path. 

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Don't Dismiss The Grieving

Often times I have come across lists of things to say to those that grieve, there is no more than one thing on my list, that should be on all lists.  No words are needed to be said, hug them, in silence is the only way.  Those who are grieving just want to know you are there, that you can be there, we want to know that through it all we are loved, that someone does care, no words are needed your love along with a hug is all.  It is too often I have realised just how many will turn their backs not due to not caring but for the fact they do not know the words to say, they do not know how to make it all better.  If you understand that there is nothing to say or do then you will understand that there is nothing uncomfortable about embracing those that grieve.

It is worse to the hearts that grieve to see so many not show anything, to see those familiar faces we loved so much end up no longer there, so as we grieve for our loved ones passed we also grieve for those familiar faces that have turned and walked away.  If you really are there, if you really love those that grieve then no doubt you will find your way to be there for them.  To those uncomfortable, do not be anything but love, no words, not anything will make everything better, being in silence with no words is more powerful then you think.  As someone who grieves I do know that so many will turn away due to being uncomfortable, I also understand it is through it all you find who the true ones are.  My list to what to say to those that grieve is NOTHING, simply stand with them in silence, hug them as well as let them know you care, let them know you love them. 

In the beginning of grief our world is no longer, life as we knew it is no longer, to see others disappear affects our hearts, our thoughts, our process of grieving.  To see so many we trusted, we loved,  turn their cheek has more impact on us that no one can ever realise.  As time goes on we understand that it is the truest of ones that always walk with us on the path as we grieve.  Yet it is in the beginning that support as well as love is the most important, our lives die, to see so many familiar faces no longer hits us with an impact that no words describe.  As we go by we understand that it is OK to see the ones that have left us, we understand the true ones that stand will forever be.  It is through love along with support that helps our grieving hearts start to mend, our pain takes in the love to lift the pain away.  So when your thinking its OK to not to of said nothing you are wrong it is everything that you have not.  Even if you don't walk that path fully with those who grieve, knowing you are still there gives hope, gives love.

I have been blessed to have so many that are still here beside me through my walk of grief yet I still feel the brokenness of those I thought would be that are not.  The lessons in grief are many, the things we become, the things we see, the love that we feel, the true colours that shine through are truly blessings to our lives.  It is through it all you truly see the true colours of life in everything.  Right now through this post I want people to just understand to love, no matter how hard, no matter how difficult just let those in need know you love.  It does not matter if you can not find the words, the silence will tell more then you will ever know.  Let the broken hearted know there is hope, that through you the hope will restore.  Through you the love will never be forgotten, that the love never goes anywhere in pain, through you the grieving know their smile will return. 

The beauty in grieving lays in the hands of the love as well as support that others can give to us all.  Through the love and support we see there is hope, that our darkness fades just a little, it is through it we understand we can get through the days, it is through it we find our strength, we find out that in that lesson us to can still reach out to others as well to help.  A grieving soul should never look around them to see no one, they should always look around to see love, to see faces they have loved in their life for so long still standing with them, even unfamiliar faces that have stood up to walk with them through grief.  Sometimes in life we are presented with people we have never thought of, it is through those people we understand life has a way of always putting someone in our life at a time we most need them.  I am amazed by the people who have been put in my life through this path I am walking in grieving.  It is Gods little blessings to our hearts that we find these people, it is through God they are put in to our life to touch our hearts to help break our pain.

To all grieving hearts that may feel alone, always understand as well as know that you are never alone, if not one familiar face is around you, reach out to those you may not know, it is in the finding anew you will see that you are not alone, sometimes it is in the finding the love you deserve through grief is the truest of blessings in your life.  You will never ever be alone, love will always surround you even if you have to reach out to grab a hold of it, do not ever be afraid to ask for help, do not ever feel you can not ask for help, it is easy, it is part of life to want help.  Know deep in your hearts you are not alone, that no one is ever alone, it may be quiet, it may be dark, yet in it all there will always be someone who will stand with you.  Sometimes you just have to make the noise first before you hear it around you.  So remember these words and say them loudly if need be no matter how hard "I NEED HELP". 

NOTE TO ALL:  Do not ever feel that you can not help those that grieve, or turn away simply due to not knowing what to say, it is in the silence that as well as being there the grieving know you care, your love along with being there lifts our hearts above the pain we feel trapped in.  No matter how uncomfortable face that feeling to fight it, to be there for those you care.  To those that grieve it is in us as well to reach out to people in need no matter how hard our pain is, it is through the loving that we feel the pain less, by helping others we feel nothing but love as well as joy.  I say to all that grieve PRAY, it seems so simple yet it is powerful, it will lift your heart far and above all the pain.  

To all grieving hearts know in your heart in time you will see many come, many go, yet you will see the most important full of love that never left.  Do not let your heart feel for the ones that left, yet only for the ones that have stayed.  Know in your heart that every second gone by will lead to a day you have made it through your pain.  Don't dwell on the negative when so much positive surrounds you in every tear that falls.  In your heart is a gift, your love is the truest of gift that could ever be.  Your loved ones passed love is what carries through your love, their lessons to us is what keeps them with us forever.

 



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