So the life of grief suddenly creeps up to you in life yet once again, yet you see through it, you look it straight in the eyes to know that yet again I have come face to face with grief yet again in life, I'd like to say "hello old friend" yet that hello is yet again is painful to want to greet. It is a heartache of old scars that have healed yet broken open saddened by the thoughts of the day you to were in that very place, holding on to all of what you known has gone. The life you knew of would no longer be the same life you built to on this very day as your heart shatters saying good bye, not knowing yet that through it you will find your new life to build over again in the most powerful, beautiful ways unthought of in the present of not ever wanting to let go of the life you have had and loved for so long.
This time of year particularly reminds all beautiful souls out there just of every memory, love, memory of those that no longer are here to share these special times with. I say always "although not in the flesh they all are always with us, by our side to give us that push of love and signs to know that they may not be seen but are truly with you in these moments that feel could break you. The loved ones we have lost will never ever be forgotten nor leave us in our lives because their soul, their love, will always be a part of us and our lives that with each life left behind that lives on each day without them here in the flesh.
When we cry, when we hurt, when we feel we can't go on, it is their love that gives us the power to keep making those steps through it all. The echoes of their memories linger around in every place that we go, in every loving words of others we see. It's always a little tricky to understand yet once you been there you see it, their lives gone, fight for the love of the loved ones that live on after them. Fighting for you to see just how beautiful the new life you are about to make becomes.
They by your side you see want nothing but the best of the best you deserve, so little by little and day by day they guide you to building and building and slowly able to see that your old life remains but the new that you make is a creation so strong, dreams of the biggest are fulfilled as you smile, thinking how can such beauty come from something so painful, quite simple the greatest of love you lost is the creator by your side helping you to build so strongly that it is all of what you thought you could never do, they unseen with a love that never leave help you find the best of all they know you deserve as you take your steps to the new not without them just unseen.
I remembered this, something that I haven't forgotten but not thought of for a while as I heard in the most beautiful song "you took my life with you" yes as your love leaves this world they do take away all of your life with them that you thought you would have forever, yet rising each and everyday surrounded by love, they our angels help us build to a new, unbreakable, most breath taking new life, it is the love never severed that rises above and beyond for you to capture the miracles of life in the new that you sew. It's as though they know more than anyone in our hearts and minds just how hard it is to let go that they take everything you ever once wanted to place it in the journey you walk away from unknown and wanting to not ever leave yet that old life will always carry with you no matter what new life that you create.
To see a love so strong, so powerful brought tears to my eyes as a family stood in the moment I felt I was in 7 years ago, yet I smiled knowing all the beauty, miracles, most powerful love along with signs of above they will see to show them "yes my loves you can take the steps to keep moving forward" that in it will always lay the unseen love that will forever be imbedded in the concrete you pour for the new life you walk to and create. You may think your alone and hate this new life yet soon you will start to see this life as a baby just born, looking to all in the purest form. So I write this today from deepest of my heart that as I looked grief in the eyes yet again the lessons and strength I have learned again through it that have been unthought of for quite some time.
In hopes that everyone out there will understand that yes we lose our old life, we shatter to pieces yet the love of your life always is there to put it all together knowing on a level so high of what you deserve builds it together with the deepest of unconditional love along side you every day to find the most beautiful miracles, dreams to come true, all of what you ever thought was impossible coming before you to real life, your new life.
You see the most powerful of love is a force that never leaves, is a force to never beat, it is force that shall forever stay as you make it through the ups and downs and some days of feeling you can't go on. It's a love that brings in so much you breathe forever everyday that will never be taken away. You will smile in knowing just where and why that has happened, trust me smile to tears but happy tears knowing "they did that, their love did that".
In the death of their life is a re birth to your life guided only by the purest of life, to see life again of all you missed before, it opens you to the core to see just what powerful of a life you have had and just begun to make.
I dedicate this to the Kocsis Family ~ Our Family ~
R.I.P Uncle Brian Kocsis ~ October 3, 1948 - December 15, 2018
The Song Ghost The Musical - With You - lyric
"You, took my life with you, took my world with you" as heart shattering this is it is true but what you feel is taken away shall be given to you in the most powerful of ways you will ever know in the love that never leaves and the love all around in every breath you take
