Bullying - Something that can take a child confidence within seconds

Being born with red hair, from an instant was already a gift yet caused a truly hurtful pain as well as sucking all confidence in me that was instilled in me.  I know as a child everyone really encounters some kind of bullying in their life, whether it be being bullied or being the bully.  It is the one memory that never really gets forgotten, it is the one thing you carry with you into your adult years.  Back in my child years is really when I discovered such horrific of things that still is happening to this day.  It is something that holds such power over the person that it is tormenting.  To this day it is still of notice, back in my childhood it may of not been as horrific as it is to this day.  People all around truly shun upon the idea that bullying is of any significance to pay attention to, that if it is people just shrug it off.  People truly turn cheek to what it is that can truly have life altering changes to a child.  Bullying is not something that is just going to go away, if it is your child that is doing the bullying know that it is not going to just go away until something of horrific tragedy happens that then will turn your life upside down.  Children born into this life are here for a reason, they are our blessings as well as blessings, they are our gifts.  It is not to be taken lightly if you are here in this world giving life to such beautiful blessings for our future. 

As a child being in grade school it was not an easy place to be being the only redhead around.  Although growing up being full of much more experience I see what a gift it is to be a redhead, that it is not very often the world is blessed with redheads.  I see now it is a gift, a special trait to be blessed with.  Yet looking back it did not at all seem that way, being made fun of every single day due to the fact of being different was a curse to me back then.  The endless tormenting, laughs as well as fights that took place linger with me in my heart to this day.  I asked myself "where was that little girl that was full of such huge confidence, the little girl that knew she was so loved, that there was not anything she could not do, where did she go"?, it was the constant being laughed at, the making fun of, the tremendous tears shed that took every little bit of last confidence in me away.  It left me feeling unworthy, it kept the ties on me for many years ahead.  Once was a girl full of life left with not one ounce of happiness nor hope.  Growing older these things carried with me, it was the start to a little lady that lacked so much self worth, it haunted my whole being each day.  Going in to highschool the confidence was gone, making it all that much more worse to see the beautiful woman I am.  To walk this life barried under such self destructive lack of self esteem is no joke to the person it haunts.  It is then your life is not truly lived, everything becomes a fear, great things that are at your finger tips will never be noticed due to the fact of not believing in yourself, not believing that it is anything in life you could be if you believe in it.

The hauntings of the past always linger in your thoughts, in your mind.  No one truly understands the effects of bullying it truly has on a child.  It breaks my heart that this is what our children have to face, this is something that we have to worry about, that in this life people can have such a huge grip on others, they can scar a person with just words, that children of such great beauty have to face the life of others that lack self worth, it is our children that have to pick up the slack of Parents that really could not love their children like they should of leaving their children to lash out because of it.  If your child is a bully, then why not ask yourself what it is your going to do about it instead of turn your cheek to dismiss it?.  As a Parent who has a child being bullied ask yourself instead of being embaressed that your child is being bullied why it is your not showing them more love?, why is it your not making sure your kids know very well that they are hugely significant to this life they were given?, why is it not being taken care of?, why is it they feel so strongly in their hearts that taking their life is better than living the life they were blessed with for very good reasons?. 

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it. Is it really a small percentage to ignore?, not one child should ever have to face the thought of their life not being of importance nor even think of suicide as a possibility.  How much should this percentage rise before people take a stand, to put this to zero percent, this world should not ever touch our children in such a horrific way, they are here to be loved, they are here to live a life they were blessed with, they are the future we need. Parenting needs to be number one to each and every parent, if in this life that is the one thing that should always be first on your list, our children did not ask to be put in this world, it is up to us to be there protection, to instill in their hearts nothing but absolute LOVE.  This is not going no where so turning your cheek won't erase it, being a person who fought so hard for her self worth, to get back my hopes as well as confidence I see the pain it causes, the affects it has on a life.  I am 34 years old, through my 34 years it is just now I am gaining all my confidence, self worth, self esteem back.  It is in all of us in this world together that can end the bullying, it is in all of our belief that in this world bullying will no longer be a part of. 

According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.  How much statistics will you continue to ignore before it is your child that decides to take their life?.  I think the question to instill in your mind to erase bullying is what if it is your child?, what if it is your child that drives another to take their life?, what if it is your child that takes their life due to being bullied?.  So why is it your not paying attention to bullying?.  Life will never ever be so busy that we need to ignore the importance of our children, no ones life is too busy to turn their backs on the horrific, terrifying, life thretening things that lay ahead for our children.  Our children deserve to be free of such pain, if it is up to us to free them of things in their path we are never too busy to not see it nor do it. 

As a parent of a little girl this terrifies me, yet it drives me to place in my daughters heart that she is her own person, that in this life there is nothing she can not do nor face.  It is up to us as parents to be the role model in our childrens eyes, to lead our life exactly how we want our children to be.  My daughter knows that there is nothing that we can not get through, that we can not do together in this life.  From an early age she has been blessed with a love stronger than anything that will try to knock her down, that if she is knocked down she will always be able to get back up.  In her is instilled a confidence that is tied to unconditional love.  I see such life in her eyes, the sparkle that glares back at me in her eyes is what lets me know that in her whole being she knows what it is she is here for, that her life is of great power, that she is here for a reason bigger than this world.  I say that bullying can take away a childs confidence in an instance, yet I believe if we stand with our children it is not going to go very far, it may hide for a second yet with our love as well as openess it will find its way back.  My daughter knows that no matter what she can speak openly of her feelings, to never let that barrier between you is what must be taken notice of, it is leaving that open free of barriers is what will always be what holds the bond between you.  As a mother it is a love like no other that I hold highly, it is a pride full of gratefulness that will always allow myself as a parent to build a solid foundation under my daughters feet that can never be ripped from under her.  Your child needs to feel as though they are number one on your list, that nothing else comes before, it is through that they will always want to succeed, it is through that they will forever rise to whatever it is they are challenged with.

Statistics never hit me that hard as the red flags that linger around in your life do, it is the red flags that you should take notice to, it is even just one that you need to stop, think along with question no matter how difficult it is to do.  Red flags are little clues to our life that something is definitely there to take notice of, to stop to question.  So right now I will leave you with some redflags to take notice of, if you see even just one it is still worth it to your child to take notice and question.

According to Dr. Joel Haber, bullying expert and author of Bullyproof Your Child for Life, your child could be a victim of bullying if he/she:

• Is reluctant or refuses to go to school


• Clams up when you try to discuss school


• Demands some sort of change in a long-standing routine, like riding the bus to school or going to the park on Saturdays


• Does not want to participate in after-school activities or play with old friends


• Seems hungrier than usual after school - it might be a sign that someone is stealing his lunch money or that he is unwilling to brave the cafeteria at lunchtime


• Shows signs of physical distress such as headaches, stomach-aches, or nausea


• Goes to the nurse in order to avoid going to class


• Performance in school (grades, homework, attendance) suddenly declines


• Acts sullen, angry, and frequently wants to be left alone


• Uncharacteristically uses bad language


• Shows marked behavior change after computer time or a phone call


• Starts asking for more lunch or transportation money without a clear explanation of why it is needed


• Has unexplained bruises or injuries

Remember the red flags linger in your life for a reason, it is in that reason it is up to you to find out, it is as a Parents job to see the redflags, to keep your child building strongly to the future they deserve.

Dr. Haber says that your child could be a bully if he/she:

• Is exclusive - refuses to include certain kids in play or study


• Persists in certain inappropriate or unpleasant behavior even after you have told him/her to stop


• Is very concerned with being and staying popular


• Seems intolerant of and/or shows contempt for children who are "different" or "weird"


• Frequently teases or taunts other children


• Constantly plays extremely aggressive videogames


• Hurts animals


• Observes you excluding, gossiping about, or otherwise hurting others: As parents we have a tremendous influence on our children. As human beings, we all occasionally exhibit some bullying behaviors. It's only natural and it doesn't mean we're bad people. But think honestly about your own behavior and then ask -- do your kids also show these traits?

Bullying seems scary, but as Dr. Haber reminds us, "It's always been going on. And it's probably been going on at the same level as it always has, but it's gotten much more media attention as of late." So don't let it overwhelm you or distract from your main goal: raising your child to be a kind, understanding, well-adjusted person.

Nothing is never too embaressing that it is more important then the safety of your children.  It is our duty to make sure the future they hold is a loving, confident, safe future to be as well live in.  Whether it is the bully or the person being bullied it is something that us as parents need to take a hold of to leave it in the past, to leave it as only just a memory.  It is us as parents all over the world  that have it in us to put bullying to an end.  In our hearts as well as minds we teach our children that there is not nothing we can not do in this life, so who is to say that we can not put a stop to bullying?, no one, it is no one that can say we can't so why is it still here?.

NOTE TO ALL:  I do believe as opening this blog I did it due to wanting to reach all grieving, some times in bullying it can leave a parent to lose their child left to grieve.  It is through us that no one will ever have to lose their child again due to bullying.   Through this blog I always want to type from the heart that through this blog I want to touch as many hearts as I can, so through this I deeply hope that I have.  We always say dreams are ours for the taking so lets make this dream a reality and put an end to Bullying.  Lets do what it is in our hearts to just show complete unlimited love to everyone that crosses our path. Nothing is impossible, why does the word impossible have possible in it if its impossible???.