F-acing E-each A-achievement R-rapidly S-successful
It is not until facing my grief that I have learned what truly turned my life around, it is through my husband passed I learned the lessons of my life. To of known me then to see me now, no confidence, no hope, no dreams, not feeling good enough, lacking energy to do anything, yet through him I have blossomed into the butterfly I was always meant to be. Had it not been for him or becoming a mother I would be forever in a cocoon. Fears I see now are nothing but obstacles in our life we need to face to get out what it is we always ever dreamed of, to go around is the shortcut that leaves you forever unsatisfied. To neglect the situations in life is giving your dreams up, in each situation a little piece of our dreams lay, leading to your one big dream, dreams. In all of us that grieve it is not to ignore, it is there to look at right in the eyes to take the climb, it may be far yet in us all lays a strength that no one will ever know just how much until the climb is conquered. It is through the battle little by little our fears are being defeated slowly unravelling our goals, our dreams, our life.
It was not until I was sitting on my couch being upset as well as shocked thinking how I have put the fear of grief on the back burner I realised what it was as well as what it meant to my life to go face to face with it and start the climb. Through grief there are many things we fight on a daily basis that hurts us like no other pain yet at the end of the day we see we never stopped facing grief, facing fear in the eyes, we start to notice the endless doors open to us, they open little by little unfolding our goals, our dreams, we understand that through the dark we pull in the light each as well as everyday we walk the walk of grief. It is not only through the grieving you face your fears, it is through any kind of situations that need to be faced yet to some they go around, they take the shortcut finding they are always going in circles not accomplishing anything. So fears are not our fears, they are not something to be scared of, they are there waiting for us to take the climb, to meet them half way, it is pieces of your life waiting for you to reach it, to unfold it.
I can not express to you all the beauty, the peace, the dreams, the goals, the beauty of life that came from this year of grief, it absolutely knocks me off my feet in realisation to how my life has changed, how I look to the world, how my heart feels to others that I do not even know, when I look to a stranger I see a piece of me in them, I instantly feel love for them, I realise in them they to fight the fight in making their dreams come true, although it may be different it is still their dream, it is still worth grabbing on to. When I think of my past my heart smiles in the knowing of now, it smiles to my life and says THANK YOU. When I look around my heart feels full, life outside looks bright as well as crisp, I smile in knowing this is how it was always suppose to be, the love of my life touched my life to make all of me see how life should be, he is my life lesson, in to the future I will carry him with me. Through him I will use his lessons to reach outward to others to keep his legacy alive. Through him I have come to understand to just love, to love those I do not even know, to love unconditionally to those in my life, to smile in knowing life is LOVE.
Everyone always walks through life afraid, stressed in panic mode due to not seeing things in their life panning out as they need it, it is to release that, let go and understand all of what we dream of will happen, in due time our life will be, it will flow, facing your fears is what needs be to help it along, to get the pieces of the puzzles that are missing, let go of the panic to understand there is nothing to be panicking for, it may not happen exactly how we imagined it yet in its own way it is our goals, achievements, dreams all there unfolding to our one big dream we have always felt in our hearts. Too much energy is put in to the what if, to just smile, to just walk in your life to love every second is what you need to understand is part of how it should be, to enjoy your baby steps to all of what you dream of, it is in the little the big evolves. I laugh in knowing now fears are not to be afraid of, it is your life all in little pieces waiting for you to take the challenge, to walk through it, to climb the climb, pulling fear out of it.
I remember a long time ago that I have always felt a huge compassion for psychiatrists due to some of my family struggling with depression as well as myself long ago, I have always felt in my heart that one day I want to be that person who reaches out to those in need struggling, it was in all of me that I so very desired to do, now to this day it has presented itself to my door, it has come to me, the one thing that all my life I wanted to do has finally knocked on my door, yet it may be in a different way it is still what I have always longed to be, it presented itself in the way of helping people grieve, different, yet still what I have always wanted to do. I see how in life things do not come when we want it, they come when they need to be in the exact moment they need be. Writing a book I once thought I could never do is in the works, endless emails of offers I have always dreamed of are barricading my email, yet when I wanted it all so very badly it was silent, now after letting go and trusting it will be, it all over flows in to my life. To stress of what it is we want that we don't have is a second wasted in our beautiful life we should be smiling as well as loving.
Ask yourself what it is that makes you brighten up from inward out, take that one thing or perhaps many things use it to fuel your life, use it to push you upward, use it to give you strength in your climb. Remember fear is not to fear, fear is pieces of your life that need to be accomplished. Fears are your pieces of the puzzle you need. Use your light, we all have a light within us, use it to brighten up your life, your story, use it to shine through this whole entire world, be the light we all need to wear sunglasses for to see. Once you get this, once you see all of this you no longer walk touching ground, you float, your feet never feel rock bottom. It is up to us to find that in our life, let go to just flow, to just be all of what you are. Not one person has anything over you, we all got here the exact same way, dreams are not limited they are forever there for everyone who faces the challenges, to those that unfold that fear is our friend, fear is our life pieces. Grieving has taught me my life lesson, my husband passed has touched my life to see life. It is through him I have become who I have always needed to be, that I still strive to become. His life knocked on my door to prove that true love is exactly what life is, what life should be, what everyone needs to be.
Happiness is not ever what you seek, happiness is what you give to yourself, happiness is how we think, it is how we program our mind, it will never be what is out of you, around you, so don't seek it just feel it. This right here is a whole other post lol. Once we stop seeking it to know it is what we think then everything else comes with it. Thank you Michael Lawrence for reaching out to me in the most trying time in my life. This man truly has given so much to just help me see what it was that was right there in front of me, to understand how things are invisible to us if we don't understand that happiness is up to our mind. Happiness is with in us all it is there for us to take a hold of not letting go. Like love is life, happiness is life if you let it be.
My butterfly that visited me every single day I understand now it was telling me a story, it was trying to make me realise that now I have become the butterfly I have always been, the wings have always been there they just needed to be nourished as well as recognised.
NOTE TO ALL: All of the things in our life we feel are failures or painful are really part of our story that teach us, that brings us to our goals in due time. Stressing for things not working out are a waste to our life, finding the answer to it is what will lead us to our next step we need, things do not happen for no reason they happen to show us something, they happen to make us pay attention to find out the why. The fears are not fears to us, they are pieces of our story, our life, they are there to be faced to unfold what it is we have achieved, to show us our dreams. Things do not happen as we may of visioned them to, yet still come to our lives as a blessing, it is still our dream just dressed in a different way. Take that one thing that makes you shine to use it to rise you above all the bad. Negative people in your life need to be left behind if they can not find the light with in them. As painful as it is to see that one person is negative that you have to let go in the end it is for good reason. Never ever walk around your obstacles in life, the shortcut is you denying yourself of a piece of your life. All bad times will only be as bad as you let it be, that to is part of our life to make us understand where we need to be headed. Never ever let go of yourself, or your dreams. Keep climbing, the hill is only as steep as you make it to be.
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