This was a huge Aha for me



When I first lost my husband I ran across this article and right as I was reading it the lights came on inside me, right away I felt all of me feel him and his presence.   From that day forward I did my best to understand that for him to feel my pain would leave him stuck unable to grow where ever he was, I wanted him to be the best at all he did where he was, so all of me each day focused on him being the greatest at all he did where he was, all of me felt that in the pain we lose the signs the great signs all around so I fought hard to rise above the pain and just feel our love.  Let the unconditional love open your heart to see the things you can't while you let the pain consume you.  Find that love that you share to hold on to it and never let the pain take up that space where only your love needs to be.

This is to offer guidance, support and knowledge to those who have lost a dear one or know someone who has lost a dear one.

How does one deal with sorrow?

On Earth, everyone has to face sorrow at some time or another. It is almost too much to bear the loss of a loved one, but somehow you HAVE to face this tough time and live this life of yours on Earth in the best possible manner. What you need is consolation, courage and love from people around you. In those times you have to make up your mind to gather strength and comfort by helping someone else in their grief, sickness or other problem. Do something in any way and overcome your sorrow.

 

Man is a soul

You need to understand a basic truth - your soul is eternal, imperishable, undying, and indestructible, your physical body on the other hand is temporary, perishable and subject to decay. Your soul is invisible within your body and matures through experiences over many lifetimes. The soul is the real YOU.

 

 

 

Earth is merely the soul’s temporary school. The spirit world is your TRUE home

The soul matures over many lifetimes. If you can accept the fact that there is life after death, then death becomes not the dreaded end of life, but a moment of change when you shrug off your Earthly body and emerge as a spirit being to a life in the spirit world.

 

Death is simply a means of returning to your true home - the Spirit World. It is like finally graduating from school after undergoing many difficult exams and returning home. During life on Earth you go through various problems, pain, difficulties, miseries, etc. Without these experiences the soul cannot mature. The physical body is like a car which takes you from one experience to another. When death comes, your physical body, which has fulfilled its purpose, is severed from your spirit body, and your soul goes on as part of its eternal pilgrimage. The (good) soul who has suffered in his worldly life finds himself in a beautiful place filled with light and happiness like he has never experienced on Earth.

 

You are not alone

Remember also that your departed dear one is with you, you are not alone. The one who you love and who loves you has left you physically but not spiritually. He can see you and hear you even though you cannot see him. With death, he has just discarded his physical body as you would discard an old coat. Your loved one has only travelled to a new land where he will wait for you. You should also not assume that the departed loved one has lost more than he has gained.

 

To grieve is not an expression of love

It is not wrong to love and miss your loved ones, but it is wrong to keep mourning and grieving for them forever. It is natural that a wound will bleed for sometime but after a while it will stop bleeding and will heal. You have to understand that grieving indefinitely is wrong for the reasons mentioned below:

 

1. Grief is actually quite SELFISH. When you grieve constantly you make your departed loved ones in the Spirit World miserable to see you so unhappy. In fact, grief creates a barrier and makes it more difficult for them to get close to you and help you. By mourning you retard the growth of the departed soul as you are not allowing them to do their work. They will be worried about you and will be unable to concentrate on doing their work in the spirit world.

 

2. Grief is self-centred. Your grief and tears of mourning are only shed for yourself. You mourn as you wonder how you will manage by yourself. What YOU will do without them or who will look after and provide for you or help YOU now that the loved one is no more.

 

 

3. Grief causes negativity. Grieving changes your state of mind from positive to negative. This negativity within causes you ill health and will lead to various diseases.

 

4. Grief can result from lack of knowledge: Some believe that your departed loved one will be happy if you grieve for them. You feel guilty if they don’t grieve for your departed loved one – you feel that you are being disloyal. This is ignorance - a wrong understanding. Your departed love one wants you to remember them and talk to them and cherish the happy memories of all the joyful moments that you have shared together, but they NEVER want you to grieve for them and become negative, guilt is a very negative emotion.

 

5. Grief clouds your mind. You are unable to see what is right and what is wrong as your mind is not clear and positive. Thus your judgement becomes weak.

 

6. Grief makes you forget your duty. When you grieve you are focused on your own feelings, and you forget to even do your duty to your loved ones who are still on Earth. In your own gloom you will make the lives of others gloomy.

 

7. Grief is a lack of faith. It means you have no faith, you do not believe that there is life after death and that every soul must eventually return to the spirit world. It means you do not understand the true purpose of life on Earth.

 

 

Tough jobs are for tough people

Just as you face harder and harder tests as you gain knowledge and experience through your years from school to college. Harder tests and training are assigned to those who are competent to successfully execute them. Face your trials courageously. Overcome your grief. Nothing on Earth is really yours. There is always a higher power, which may remove, in one way or another, what you claim as yours, without consulting you.

 

If you wish to help your loved ones then pray for them, as your love and prayers will aid their progress. Try to forget your own misery by giving happiness to others.

 

1. Light a candle in someone Else's dark hour. Remember that your departed loved ones are by your side helping you in all the good work that you do. The time that is wasted in your soul's development can never be regained and there is so much that needs to be done. Do good always and try not to leave any good work undone.

 

2. Think wisely before you help others. You should not cause them further pain instead of consoling them. When people are miserable they may insult you or try to avoid you. Be tactful, understanding and loving.

 

3. You must not give of yourself to another so completely that you are drained of strength, balance and the power of decision making. Nor must you support those who are shirking their own tasks or refusing to exert themselves for others.

 

4. You have to SHARE their miseries and your own. Upon sharing you will see that half of your misery and theirs will have disappeared. Make the best of the worst.

 

5. You must also try and get back into your normal day-to-day activities.

 

6. You will experience immense joy when you find that you are ready to sacrifice even a little of yourself for others. To live for one’s self is to destroy one’s self.

 

7. Show courage in meeting and enduring your trials. Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

 

 

8. PRAY. Prayer when rightly understood and wisely directed can be of invaluable assistance to the dead. Sincere, loving and selfless prayer is to them a source of strength, relief and happiness.

 

 

Nothing can separate you from your loved ones. By death you lose not your loved ones but the power to see and hear them. Ties of true affection are eternal and when you sleep you reunite with many of your loved ones in the Spirit World.

 

 

Begin today to live your life with such perfection that the inspiration you provide will set others on the same marvellously dedicated course that you follow.

 

 

If you feel miserable go out and do something for someone else!

 

NOTE TO ALL:  It is so very hard to ignore that pain but if you find that special place of loved shared by you and your loved one passed the pain has no longer no more room to fit in that space, it is hard yes, that love will give you all the strength you need to find that space of love shared by you both each time you feel the pain unbearable.

Unknown Author