The other night it was an end of
the heat wave that had us all seeking the cool, in the end it was a feeling
that all could feel as they went out to breathe to finally be able to breathe
and not feel as though they were melting.
It was a beautiful evening the wind that blew had a cool touch to it, My
sister from another mother I like to call her had called me to go out like we
usually do, grab a coffee, sitting at the river front watching the water as we
talk about life and the struggles we felt that day, that week of the loss we
bare. Susan to me is a true blessing and
just know deep in my heart that she was sent into my life for a reason, someone
to reflect upon me that I am not alone, someone I could trust with words of
sadness to happiness of life, she truly to me is a blessing from up above. To have a best friend like this is a true
gift to the heart, the day we met I remember feeling as though we already knew
each other forever, I guess as we looked at one another it was a reflection in
the mirror knowing the loss we deal with is there, the pain, the struggles, the
tears, it is all of what we know we both been through and still go through.
So on this night it was not of
any difference than what we would usually do to grab a coffee head to the river
and talk about anything and everything our hearts were feeling heavy
about. Yet in me it was different this
time, I felt giggly, I felt the feeling comical, like I wanted to just laugh
and look around to see what it was I could get in to. I remember looking around watching the water,
seeing the reflection of the sun beaming and glistening off the water, I remember
the fluffy clouds standing still, trying to figure out why it was they were not
moving. This is truly how I understand
that when you let the child in you out is when you open doors to nothing but
absolute happiness, pureness. In my
funny there was no stopping our laughing.
As I looked towards the car next to us pulling up to park, I joked that
he was a hotty, not at all but I had been talking about being single and how it
was so exhausting for me to feel that feeling we all search for. So jokingly I stared at this man, while Susan
could not refrain herself from not laughing, I watched him get out of his jeep,
staring back at me I’m thinking I boosted his ego, or however he could have
been thinking what is up with that crazy girl staring, either, or it was just
me and my frisky side coming through, I remember through this a lady next to us
I had noticed alone, very upset, you could feel the pain she bared as she sat
in her car alone. I remember mentioning
a couple times asking “should I go and see if she is ok, yet feeling I don’t
want to invade her privacy nor make her feel uncomfortable.
I remember telling Susan that I
could not stand seeing pain in people, that in my heart I felt I wished I could
help everyone that is feeling sad or that are in times of despair, that
sometimes I wasn’t sure if it was a curse or a blessing, we definitely looked
at each other and answered blessing.
During the feeling of laughter and feeling frisky wanting to just be out
of my comfort zone I glanced back and forth from the lady to the man I was
staring down noticing he was up against a ledge, looking at Susan I say “ I
should walk that ledge passing right by him just for fun, like all kids love
doing walking the plank of whatever they could, Susan laughed telling me “do
it, just do it”, so I got out of the car hiked myself up on the ledge laughing
so hard I couldn’t even walk a straight line, as I got to the man he spread out
arms out over his jeep saying “please just don’t fall on my jeep, you can fall
on me just not my jeep”, I could hear Susan laughing so hard at this point I
looked to the man to say “no worries I won’t fall no worries, that if I did
this I get 50 bucks from my friend that it was a dare”. So I walked to the end than walked back past
the man as he said “I think you’re doing a pretty good job”, he was just happy
I didn’t fall on him. Jumping down
getting back in the car I could not even stop laughing in knowing just how
crazy I must have just seemed.
It was funny because I just know
something this little was not something I’d ever do before, yet knowing that in
life freeing yourself of the seriousness we always feel and letting out that
child in you is a must, life is not meant to be so serious every single moment,
it’s about laughing, feeling funny, releasing your craziness from time to time,
forcing yourself to be the person that you normally are way too much. In grieving I do know that letting out that
part of you is much needed to the heart and soul. The whole time of doing these silly acts the
lady still was heavily in my heart knowing that if this was me alone in a car
upset, crying, feeling such pain that I’d want someone to notice me, I’d want
someone to ask me if I was ok, we all do not ever want to feel invisible to
anyone, everyone deserves to be noticed, that they are known to this big world
we are in. So after being able to do
what I did, I thought to myself why not do what my heart was asking me and
approach this lady, the worse she could do is say leave me be please. I then got back out of the car to approach
her car, feeling all of me scared, out of my boundaries, as I came close to the
car the intense feeling had me almost froze yet I got up enough strength to
knock on her car window, she glanced at me quickly and I could see in her eyes
the heavy hurt as well as pain that she was carrying. She opened her window looking at me like why
are you here?, I asked “I don’t mean to invade your space nor interrupt you but
I could see that your very upset and wanted to know if you’re ok? She smiled the first smile I seen as I
watched her next to us for quite some time, said “I am ok thank you so much for
asking”, I then asked if she was sure, if she needed someone to talk to, if she
is sure she would be ok? She answered “thank
you so very much for asking me and thank you so much for caring and not even
knowing me but I will be ok, she was so very grateful that I had approached
her, that she was noticed and not invisible to this world.
I told her “you’re so very
welcome that if she changed her mind I was just right there next to her”,
walked away and got back into the car.
Susan couldn’t believe the things I was doing on this night, she just
glanced and smiled. So the man with the
jeep was gone, I glanced around for anymore silliness I could get into but wasn’t
finding anything. After just a few minutes
approaching the lady next to us in her car, we saw her get out of her car
coming our way. I smiled in knowing that
she was going to open up even if we were strangers that sometimes you have to
take the chance to believe that there truly are genuine, nice people in this
world. She came to our car on my side to
ask “could you really tell that I was upset and hurting lots?” I told her “I knew she was having a hard time
that something was not right, the look on her face touched my heart”. She smiled to tell us “I’m usually a very
private person but you were so nice to come over to ask me if I was ok I’d
thought I’d come to see what it is you thought of what it was that has been
bothering me so much for a long time”. I
told her “ok, ask away we can help and
give our opinions to try and help as much as we can” In her story she talked of her husband how he
was a high profiled DR, that she to was a DR, that they were married for 19
years, that a nurse that worked with her husband was texting him, not in a
professional way, that she texted him A LOT, that it made her feel as though
maybe something was happening that she had no control over, even after
explaining to her husband it made her uncomfortable, that it was coming between
them, he still refused to understand her due to not wanting to make his work
space uncomfortable, or unprofessional.
I listened to her story to not
assume or make harsh rash judgement towards her husband, that as she talked of
them I truly felt he loved her, that in my gut I felt that it truly was not
what she thought it was, that the nurse doing this was wanting to use her
husband for leverage, to get higher in her place at work, and that knowing it
bugged her she liked that it did. I told
the lady what is it you feel? What is it
your gut is saying to your heart? She
could not answer a definite answer which led me to understand that her husband
was not cheating, that he was a very nice man not wanting to ruin his
reputation or work place by something that could stop on its own by not giving
in to it. I watched the look on her
face, I seen the pain that it brought to her as heavily as she actually felt a
divorce in her future. I spoke of all
that I could that what I felt about the story just by what she was saying to us. As we spoke to one another I felt peace, I
smiled in knowing just how quick people are to judge that here we all were
strangers yet something so personal to her was being released. I felt peace in knowing that my heart
whispered to me to approach her and I did, and for good reason it was meant to
be. I felt in the moment peace of
knowing no matter what nationality, what race, what culture, we are all of the
same inside, we hurt, we laugh, we need to know we are noticed that even if a
stranger you are cared for. You could
tell this situation had made herself –esteem and wellbeing drown, I looked to
her to say that in her she had to build back her all, known in her heart she is
a strong woman she has always been that things that we cannot control are there
to teach us a lesson, that it was up to us to find those lessons. That even in worst case scenario she would
always be able to do whatever it was that she had to go through she could do
it. We talked to her about how she was
talking to 2 widows; she looked in complete shock saying “you’re so young to be
widows, that she was so very sorry to hear that”.
We than asked where she was from,
she told us Pakistan, that again reminded me that so many out there put labels
on everyone for the one person who brought harm, that just because one person
causes such pain the label does not carry out to all. That’s when my eyes opened to this life even
more, that the perceptions of others can fog your own sense of love and
thoughts. As I looked to this lady I
seen in her that she too was like we are, feelings, pain, struggles, that no
matter where or who she was that she was us, she was a part of us. As we talked we all looked at one another and
decided to say a prayer, “God give us the serenity to accept the things we
cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the
difference”. In all of this my heart
opened so much taking in life as it should be seen, it’s about helping others
no matter who they are, no matter if a stranger, to be brave enough to approach
someone that you feel is in pain, to assist in love no matter what or who they
are. That was when I realised it is not
just wanting to help people grieving, that in my heart it is about to help
everyone I can in pain, that throughout my life the pattern has always been
there, people would always come to me to ask of advice, to see if I could help
them, people where ever I go always approach me for whatever reason it may be,
that is when I realised my purpose has always been there around me for so long
trying to allow me to pay attention and know what the whispers were trying to
get me to hear. That no matter what the
Unconditional love in my heart is enough for whoever it is I need to help, the
gift in me was the comfort I send out to others in their time of need. That it didn’t matter if a stranger or not
that is what it was I was here to do.
Susan worked her love and could
not believe the words she spoke of to this lady in such compassion, during our
conversation a family had been walking by us, they were taking pictures, the
lady we were speaking to asked if she could take a picture for them of all of
them. They to approached us full of
smiles and laughter speaking of going out for dinner and the one man joking he
had to pay the bill that the other man was so happy because he had a free
meal. They joked to us about how Canada
got its name that they were from Detroit.
The lady we were speaking to you could see the pain was gone; she smiled
so bright and even helped out the family by taking a picture for them. That was when I realised one good deed to
someone leaves a trail to others learning from you to wanting to help
others. Paying it forward was happening
in the little area we were in. I looked
to the lady to see her pain was no longer that her smile was there, her eyes
were bright, I smiled in knowing that we helped, that due to jumping out of the
fear I opened the doors to free, fearlessness that I learned to listen to my
heart, my intuition that on this night we freed someone of the chains of pain
that bounded them to feeling helpless, we helped chase away her darkness. We got out of the car and hugged her after
asking if she needed a hug. After that
we exchanged phone numbers. Unsure of
how this would turn out we wanted this lady to know we cared and she could
contact us anytime she needed.
We said our good byes but knew a
friendship was created, me and Susan looked at one another and laughed, not at
the seriousness of it all but at the fact that whenever we were together we
attracted people to us, we attracted people in need to us and helped them no
matter what the situation was, no matter if a stranger, the feeling in you
helping others is a feeling like no other.
It allows you to rise above your own sorrow to smile in understanding
you truly helped someone despite of how you felt in your times of
struggle. So after the intense time we
spent with this lady we drove to go back home, still in amazement of what we
did and all that happened. Now here is
where the huge miracle came in to place that night, after truly sending out
unconditional love, praying to God and the universe together me and Susan got a
text from the lady. “Hey girls, I am so
glad we met today. "Here is an update, my
husband called and said that he wants to be with me and not ruin things because
of a stupid little quarrel, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH. GOD BLESS YOU. That his phone has always been open to her to
see, he has nothing to hide. He does not
want this to affect his life with me. I
just need to say you were angels for me today. We need to meet again on a happy
note”. So you have to wonder was it the love in our
words, heart soul, that aligned to her needs, was it that I stood up to notice
her or is it just the fact that when love sees love the most of the beautiful
lest miracles manifest. I do believe
when your love is pure with no intent is where your dreams align becoming
closer to your life noticing that what you do comes from your heart not from
what you want in the materialistic way.
LIFE is all about loving unconditionally
to others out in this world, no matter who, where, why in that all is the
pureness of what God is. So in your
service to act for him with others is truly where miracles are, where miracles
are attracted. In those moment surrounded
by the beauty all around us we opened our hearts we opened our love to find in
it is where healing happens, where blessings are granted. I remember being there, taking the time to
breathe in the cool air, seeing the amazing pink sky, the green of the trees,
the stillness of the water, yet also paid attention to every word that was
spoken. That sometimes our purpose is of
many things, to not surround it to just one thing. Helping others is to help yourself as well,
it brings in peace, it brings in love, leaving you forget just what it was you
were stressing of, you let go of your own worries and difficulties to see life
is so much more than that. All this is a
reminder to me that just when you thought your heart was open that it can open
more and more as you truly live life and see it in the beauty it is all around,
that it is there working for you not against you. To open your love no matter what nationality,
religion, culture is there in front of you that is in need that the perception
of one person does not lead to how others are.
Casting judgement before even
knowing is creating darkness to your soul, not knowing the person in front of
you is part of you, realising we all are similar we all hold similarities that
ties us to one another, looking to someone knowing that in them lies a piece of
you is what allows you to truly see life the way it is meant to be seen. Everyone is always so quick to assume that
taking the time to let the love through holds us back to so many of things in
our own life. Even if the lesson comes
later in life at least it is there to open you up to life as it should be, just
don’t let later be too long because our life is too short to not truly see it
how it should be. If you feel that gift
in you don’t try to bury it because you fear what it is, that gift in you is a
gift of why you are here to make this world a better place that it is.
NOTE TO ALL: We are all here for a reason, not for our own
personal reasons, not to lift ourself higher alone, not to look to the
materialistic things we could have by using our purpose but to see life around
us in its pureness, to see others with love, to open our hearts to the world
with unconditional love. Use your gift
for the pureness of love not to use it for your own to get to where you need to
alone, use it to hold hands with others in life to walk with them to where you
all need to be. Realise in the quiet
what it is that makes your heart beam out into the world to catch the eyes of
so many leading them to search for their own, use that love you feel in your
heart to know that is how your life should be lived, that in every second of
what you do it is not work it is love, that to you it feels freeing of your own
darkness that may be in you, finding it in you is to free yourself to being
trapped in a hole, to rising above it out into the world living life as it is
need be.
It is not very far from you, your
gift, purpose is around you all the time trying to help you see it, understand
it, feel it, it is always around waiting for you to discover what it is trying
to let you know. “Life has no
meaning. Each of us has a meaning and we
bring it to life. It is a waste to be
asking the question when you are the answer ~Joseph Campbell~
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