It amazes me how a change of your whole being happens right before your eyes but not noticing until you take the time to be in the present moment to look back on all things you have gone through. Things you once thought was or could never be part of you, even things that you had no desire in to find the change has shifted right in front of you not even realizing in moments it happened. How is it we take upon this change?, not yet ever realizing, something so different in us that would of never thought of ever before?.
After my husband had passed I notice so many of things in me that once never really would be an interest in me yet there I was embracing so many different of things, is it coincidence?, is it that huge change to your life has opened you truly so widely that now is the time you truly are seeing life as you should of before?. It's a question I do not search for answers however feel in my heart that going through such a big change in your life welcomes you back to all you've never realized or seen before.
I was never ever an out door kind of girl, i'd much rather be inside doing what I had to do inside, going outside when only needed but never to just sit and hang out to see what was all around me. After my husband had passed I looked to outside as my reality, I wanted to be outside, I wanted to see that life was still moving, that nothing had stopped just because I had felt it did. My husband passed was very much an out door person, it is outside where I have found the most beautiful of things that now brings such peace to my heart, it is where I use it to my advantage in my quiet time, it is where I have been enlightened with multiple of loving signs to my heart.
It truly is a place where I find the most amazing of moments that happen to me, it is where I breathe, it is where I find my sanity, the beauty of blessings surround me as I see and take it all in every second of every day I sit to be in silence and just be. It truly over whelms me to see the littlest to biggest of changes in me since losing my husband passed, I truly believe that in my heart we take on part of that persons likes and treasures to live out for them here on earth while they cannot. I find myself eating foods never of before would ever be any desire to me, look to things as I never would of before, most of all I love more than I ever could of before, is this of coincidence?,
I believe it is not, to me part of it is keeping those pieces of our loved ones alive in us living for them here on earth, the other part being the change, the big change your life takes on as though being reborn again seeing things in a total different way, a way of truly opening your eyes, heart and soul to what you missed from the start. I take deep pride in looking to every beautiful thing around me to understand that in that beauty is love, in that love is the love of your loved ones passed, in love is taken a little piece of heaven here with you on earth.
If you lost someone than that little piece of heaven resides with you in you in your heart, life and all around you every day. Since the day I lost my husband I always made sure every day I did things that he loved doing while here, my heart took deep comfort in knowing by doing so a piece of him will always be here, celebrating what he loved, celebrating his life, our love.
As the warm weather approaches I smile in knowing his big smile as he loved the warm weather and keeping busy always outside. I look to the sun to smile in knowing in that light is his smile smiling at me knowing the weather is getting warm. At night I look to the beautiful sky, the twinkle of the stars to remember how i'd always look out side in silence at night when he was here feeling grateful, counting my blessings for the life I was living. It takes a lot of love to walk through grief, but nothing stronger than that love can break your accomplishments if you look around to find your pieces of heaven in front of you, to find the ways to understand what you could do for your loved ones passed every day that they loved doing to keep their legacy alive, with you, beside you, every day.
There is nothing more peaceful to your heart than hearing the noises of nature all around you, or having a hard day to go out seeing a robin or butterfly sitting still right in front of you, then knowing in your heart signs are there for you to let you know "it will pass and you are not alone nor far from the love you lost here on earth". It is never by no coincidence if you go through or see these things and feel it deep in your heart, the comfort that takes over your whole being, in that very moment is your sign, it is your love whispering to you that what ever it may be you are struggling with in that moment that you are not alone, and in the beauty of nature comes a message to your heart.
Messages of love are every where, if we walk blind unknown to the beauty of that love there are so many of moments of our messages of love that will pass us by. However it will always find a way to open your heart to not miss a thing. The beauty of nature is truly a sign to us all that our loved ones passed are forever a piece of that and forever around us, with us, sending signs, comforting our hearts with significant of things that meant something to you both that only you would know, than to see that sign is most truly a treasure to the heart to know what you have doubted that your love never leaves, even though not in physical world that love never goes away or anywhere.
Sometimes something happens and its so amazing you have to question yourself is this for real? or is it just myself comforting myself?, in that moment there is no doubt that it is just not you, it is truly the beauty of love letting you know that "I may not be seen but I'm with you". Gods beauty of all he created with love, for us, for our eyes to see acknowledge and take it all in, in nature is your peace, peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of spirit, peace of your own heaven from your loved ones passed.
One summer I remember every day that I was out on the porch the same butterfly would lay so still on the railing near by me, the more it happened the more I started to feel comfort, peace, love, the more I thought is this of coincidence?, judging by the presence of impact it had on me every day I seen this happen it was never of a coincidence to me, it was my sign that the love is there that our love will always be, that no matter how hard of days I had my husband passed wanted me to feel comforted and know i'd be ok.
Last summer it was dragon flies, and a wild bunny, this wild bunny amazed me so much, losing my father that summer as well then noticing this wild bunny that visited every time I would go outside and not even run or be scared being so close, I felt in all of me peace, I smiled and took comfort that was my piece of love letting me know I am never ever alone, the dragon flies that swarmed above in the bluest of skies hovering over ever so graceful not moving away just hovering as the bright sun shined the radiant colors of their wings. This all to me is never no doubt the moments of signs that your heart takes in knowing that the love will always be around you, in you, with you no matter where you go.
I could most definitely write a book on the million of moments special to me letting me know that you have moments always around you letting you know that you will be ok, that you are not alone, just believe in that love, look through eyes with love, embrace what is around you and know there are always the most beautiful of ways that your love of messages are trying to get your attention, personal messages to you and that it is of no coincidence if in doubt.
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