I’d like to think I’m a strong woman for all that I’ve gone through and learned, in fact I know I am a strong person however being a stress monster as well as an emotional person has taken its toll. However these traits are mine, part of who I am, yes you got those people in your head telling you “find a way to relax” but really no one has the answer on how to do just that.
It’s not that I intentionally want to stress or get emotional way more than others, it’s part of who I am, I take things to heart, worry about my future, worry about what tomorrow brings because that is just me. Yes I know all the great quotes around that stress is like trying to control the future truly, really all I want to control is a future of love, happiness and health, I want to see my beautiful daughter shine bright as she does now, of course you also imagine that happy ever after with someone as well.
However that is all things out of my control yet it’s still something you think of often, most times it’s at night keeping you wide awake when you have to wake at 6am. I stress, I get emotional more than others but really I look back to everything that could of literally broke me but it didn’t, I got up as always to start putting one foot in front of another.
I know somewhere Jean Guy is watching proud of where we are today. I stress about bills, food, rent, but why? things for some reason as always work out. Than I look back wondering why in the world did I make myself sick stressing when knowing it always works out?.
It’s not that I intentionally want to stress or get emotional way more than others, it’s part of who I am, I take things to heart, worry about my future, worry about what tomorrow brings because that is just me. Yes I know all the great quotes around that stress is like trying to control the future truly, really all I want to control is a future of love, happiness and health, I want to see my beautiful daughter shine bright as she does now, of course you also imagine that happy ever after with someone as well.
However that is all things out of my control yet it’s still something you think of often, most times it’s at night keeping you wide awake when you have to wake at 6am. I stress, I get emotional more than others but really I look back to everything that could of literally broke me but it didn’t, I got up as always to start putting one foot in front of another.
I know somewhere Jean Guy is watching proud of where we are today. I stress about bills, food, rent, but why? things for some reason as always work out. Than I look back wondering why in the world did I make myself sick stressing when knowing it always works out?.
When your a single mom in these days it’s scary, you want your child to have a safe roof over their head and full bellies so you strive to be perfect when perfect doesn’t exist. Than one day you find out you aren’t invincible, the back lash of so much stress and emotion catches up to you scaring you as you lay sick wondering what the hell is wrong with you? to see that it’s all due to many years of stress and emotions.
That's when you truly understand all of it has not done you any good, that sometimes a lot of times you got to stop to say “hey I can’t control this", I can’t worry about if I’m liked, if those bills will get paid or if I’m preforming at my best” to let go and let be and just believe and carry on the best you can.
In fact I’ll never worry or stress about such stupidity again because now it’s time to be healthy your health is the most important over all the worries and emotions you could ever feel or think about. In fact I knew there would be consequences somewhere down the line but ignored it figuring it’s me I’ll be OK, I don’t care about stories of others who say “my mother was strong like bull” because to me that is in the eyes of the beholder who never did see that person behind closed doors maybe not so strong while others can’t see.
That's when you truly understand all of it has not done you any good, that sometimes a lot of times you got to stop to say “hey I can’t control this", I can’t worry about if I’m liked, if those bills will get paid or if I’m preforming at my best” to let go and let be and just believe and carry on the best you can.
In fact I’ll never worry or stress about such stupidity again because now it’s time to be healthy your health is the most important over all the worries and emotions you could ever feel or think about. In fact I knew there would be consequences somewhere down the line but ignored it figuring it’s me I’ll be OK, I don’t care about stories of others who say “my mother was strong like bull” because to me that is in the eyes of the beholder who never did see that person behind closed doors maybe not so strong while others can’t see.
Anyway it’s not about strength, it’s about life, rising above what comes your way, getting through it as you always have, getting knocked down forever getting back up. So you see it may be just minor problems I have gotten yet to me you see it’s more than just that for me, it’s a huge change to realize I let this happen when I should of actually laughed at the stupid shit of others I worried about that liked me or not, if I was doing things right.
Wanting to be a perfectionist because here I am now trying to find a way to eat and not suffer after something that didn’t agree with me or balancing life and practising healthy eating, not over thinking but it doesn’t matter I know as always I will get through. I am a pro getting through the hard times, in fact I love that the hard times never get me down and challenge it with open arms
Wanting to be a perfectionist because here I am now trying to find a way to eat and not suffer after something that didn’t agree with me or balancing life and practising healthy eating, not over thinking but it doesn’t matter I know as always I will get through. I am a pro getting through the hard times, in fact I love that the hard times never get me down and challenge it with open arms
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