As you go through your life, there are times that go by so fast to never look back to all that you go through on a daily basis. We tend to get caught up in our day to day life that we forgot often too much to stay in the moment for some time. I know I often find myself catching myself doing the same, as it is so easy to get caught up in our daily schedule, worrying if you would be not on time within that schedule.
What is that schedule? How did we get to a point where time truly, deeply defines us and our daily life? Stopping to understand as much as I can that life ain't about constant rushing for no reason, that it's about living, breathing, being in the moment along with enjoying the journey. It is hard, not going to pretend that it is very easy to get caught up in that, as quick as it is to type this sentence, yet to get to the point where you catch that coming on is a great gift to yourself and your life.
Lately life has been a huge reflection for me, to be quite honest it has been a true blessing to have this time to see what I have been missing for a long time now. Through the quiet I have learned so much, with time as nothing but time and not a schedule, I have been able to sit in peace to take courses, to learn more, as well as learn more about myself, to hear the whispers of my hearts passion, the universes love and blessings that reside in me around me, as well as what is to come. Smiling in the wonder how the greatest of gems come from the darkest of times, smiling upon all that have been to the darkest places have become the brightest of lights to so many around them.
Losing half of my heart, life, being, soul, then has had me putting the pieces back together and giving up pieces that no longer serve me, in those losing of pieces I have found new pieces, I have never noticed before to put back together to the new me being created. In the together of the new, you will find your littlest to biggest miracles along the way, it takes practice to be able to take the time to find those pieces along the way, as you pave your new road.
In this world there are open minded people, some not so opened minded along with totally close minded, that is OK, we are all unique and different. However the portion we feel are so close minded are the ones that we are afraid to open up to admit who we really are in fears of judgment. However we do know later on in life that it don't matter what others opinions are, it is our own that only matters.
If not for the dark that I've been through, than the light of who I am would of never appeared to my life. It's that darkness of times I tell you that are truly are our blessings in disguise. If not for the darkest of times I have recently been through I would of never discovered the great gifts in me, that forever would be hidden. The great gifts of passion, purpose that has been there for far too long in darkness. A tad of my being knew deep down but always too afraid back then to say it out loud to knowing of judgment would be had, in the earlier days where I thought others opinions mattered.
Now to this day I know better, still to understand not everyone will accept my gifts and that is OK to. So proud to know of all that guides me to where I should of been all along, Intuitive Empath, to Healing, to Energy Healing, to Counselling, to Grief Coaching, most of all accepting my Intuitive Empath side and no longer being embarrassed to say that out loud and be proud. The gifts that drive me to help, to be proud, to be grateful, to learn more of has never been so enlightening that no words can describe just how much it is.
To be your true authentic self, finding all that in the darkness of times is the greatest of all to me, to know that all your rock bottom moments are the times where a miracle of your life shall appear. In these hardest of times I have used my head space to create space to learn, to add to the gifts I bare, to take courses and earn diplomas, smiling in the darkness while the whole time I was turning on my own light in the dark. It's absolutely breath taking to think the whole time I was thinking my life was being shattered that silently I was taking a leap to embrace what I really wanted to do for far too long now.
Looking up always smiling to give thanks at how surprisingly things feel they are breaking but breaking to reveal the new highest of you. The miracles of once day dreamed coming to life. That learning in those hard, painful times you feel you are falling apart in the end the reveal is that you are falling together to what you always wanted to be. Though never the end of it, that is the break to the best of more to come.
So breathe when you feel it's falling apart because soon you will see the dark fade and your big picture unveiling right in front of your eyes in a quick breath of the biggest of your miracle looking back at you. Smiling the biggest knowing the great has come from that most painful of darkness to understand it has to be part of life to get through to the bigger picture of your miracles shinning bright straight through that pain.
This is all not to say that the struggle is gone, just knowing in that struggle always comes strength and the shattering of not ending but huge beginnings. No words will ever be able to explain what life has been these last six months, yet I would do it all over again, through the pain, darkness and hard times to find what I have found through it as the darkness faded.
I found what was in me, gifted to me, that has been waiting for so long now. To shout out from the highest mountain with gratitude what it is I AM, what I am gifted, what my purposes have been given, to never hide from nor have to hide from ever again. To understand that unknowingly silent in the dark I smiled, that in it all I was taking the leap of faith knowing deep down it shatter to nothing but all pieces that I have ever wanted as well as needed when putting it all back together.
My heart truly is open, it is thankful to my husband passed because behind all this I know he forever has my back, not seen but forever felt.
Fourteen years ago I was blessed by an earth angel my husband passed now still an angel but one I know by name no longer in physical being with wings.
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