Getting a little sentimental looking back, looking to where we are today. I think of my family, my daughter, friends and even people I don’t know and start to cry knowing just how our lives changed within seconds.
I grieve for how it was before, knowing things won’t be the same, no one will be the same, yet I smile knowing through hard times always comes miracles through it, after it and years after to come. I miss the man who I felt the safest with but know he’s never far from me to protect us, guide us and keep us safe.
Looking for answers there is no where to be found, questioning why? where there is no answer to as well. Feeling frustrated, emotional, anxious, like there is no end to what I see around. In my head I know no time for negativity, yet some days it’s so damn hard to keep those thoughts far from my thoughts.
I don’t know what tomorrow or the next day will bring but if anything in the now is where I shall stay. Looking to my family knowing they are safe, seeing my daughter be a cool cat during such hard times is more of who I need to be. I’ve never seen such strength in a young lady that she has every single day.
She struggles with so much but shakes it off with love. I’m here today as every other day asking myself how did I get so damn anxious? yet try to be easy on my feelings and let them be at bay because we all are in a time we have never seen before. I heard the fraise “Cabin Fever” yet I shook my head thinking, no more like “Flight or Fight Mode” that’s what I’ve felt every single day. To realize this is not who I am, I’ve been through worse, so now is the time to be more than just half of who I am, to be the person my daughter needs to look up to.
To understand I can’t control what’s going on day to day but to protect, lead and love all in my life that need me the most, to be the support to those that need it the most. To protect others and ride out this ride of staying home. To think of negative will never bring you the love that you need, to think positive and be strong is where your mind needs to stay.
To take the time to bow your head to pray for all those that are no longer here even if a stranger, to pray for those that are out there fighting for us to be healthy and stay with food and be protected, to understand it’s more than just who we love in our life we need to love and pray for through this time of the hardest times we bare.
Riddle me this Riddle me that, please just for now save your mind from spinning about conspiracy theories, looking for conspiracy theories, wondering if this all is accident or not, don’t lose yourself now, keep your mind clear, be strong and just love. When this all clears, full speed ahead for answers you need, research for all of what we all want to know, just how exactly our world just shut down in a blink of an eye.
I cried the tears, feared the most, yet now is the time to love, pray and know I’m not perfect, that life won’t be the same but like other storms when cleared life comes to be nothing more than you could of ever dreamed it would be. The storm calms and beauty arises. Stand strong, breathe, love, inspire and know the day of light is on the way.
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