I've Got Cuomotine Fever

So it seems I been seeing so many articles circulating around about Mr Cuomo and how they are wanting to be the next in line.  So I thought why not do my own article on my very own blog?  Than I was like "yea why not I can do it, just do it". In the midst of all the ups and downs happening I thought something funny for a change would be good, as they say "laughing is the best medicine".  As always though I noticed when things start trending hard around social media I'm always late to the party, that's ok, better to be late than never.  So on a funnier note than the last blog here I am typing all my funny.   

So all things thought of in my head I have a solution to them all, If there was a bachelor in my mind hands down I'd win, as for the huge waiting line I've already been escorted to the number one in that line, along with the long wait list of women that be a good match for Mr Cuomo, I am definitely number one on that list as well.  A gal can and shall always dream.  

As to geography already got that figured out in my thoughts him being a New Yorker and I being a Canadian eh, politics aside, it just works out, hey it's my dream I can disregard some details to make it work if I got to.  As for age difference that is shot down immediatly, "age is nothing but a number", I got leverage on this one, my belated husband was twenty seven years older, NO I am far from a gold digger, my belated husband was no where near being rich.  Cuomotini comes to mind like a smooth glass of a Martini as Mr Cuomo is to a fine wine.

Listen I been a widow for nine years, so I got dibs far and beyond anyone, just the fact that when my belated husband passed raised the bar for other men, Mr Cuomo exceeds that bar, also not to mention to even think of another man is enough said, after losing the love of your life, in fact all that alone gives me all rights to even dream of all this Cuomotine Fever always.  No, no, no, I am not using the death card by far but its a fact ha, ha.  

Listen it's been 6 weeks being in,  so please my dreams and thoughts are rash, very well thought out as well.  Look me up I am just a women living in Canada, admiring from a far.  No I have not lost my sanity, like I said just look me up you will see no crazy here.  Wicked sense of humour perhaps, with some funny, ocassional thoughts to add but hey we are here in our homes for quite some time now, days have to be filled with a whole lot of sense of humour, laughs and funny thoughts.

Every briefing I find myself watching, it's his quick, strong persona that gets me everytime.  It's how a true leader should be, take no BS, speak no BS.  I actually wonder if I was a reporter sitting in front of this huge presence how'd I react if asked upon to ask a question.  I'd definitely stutter, than ask something totally not related to what is being talked about, ha, ha.  So yes in my dreams, thoughts and witty personality, I am number one to be the next good candidate for Mr cuomo, hands down.

Yes I say nope no line ups for me, no waiting lists, no obstacles, it's the best kind of thinking, as I said before a gal can always dream, dreams come true however that is a whole other topic for another day.  Serious note, strong admiration for this man Mr Cuomo not just for the fact of he is as sexy as they come but for the fact he implements true, compassionate, leadership.  Oh yes to add to the briefings I watch every day,  I do try really hard to focus on what he is saying but my mind keeps going back to "he's SO pretty", WHAT?  A man can always be pretty,  trust me it's the new sexy.


Just a sassy Canadian in awe of Mr Cuomo, however why do I keep saying Mr?  in my mind with him it be Andew, however out of respect as I type it is Mr.  No shame in my play, you'd be crazy to turn this fine wine down ever.  So yes I will leave it with that and the fact like the song says, CALL ME MAYBE?  AGAIN a gal can dream a beautiful dream.  I was always told to dream big, so yes that is no downfall for me.

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It's Ok To Not Be Ok

Where were you the day the world stopped moving? I keep trying to find the words for this yet I always get choked up on finding the words.  First I want to say that no matter who you are, in what ever profession that you do, we all have moments we feel broken, that in no way feeling that way discredits what you do, as well as who you are, that who you always have been.

In tears, standing, feeling yes “I’m still alive” but in a blink of an eye my life again was taken away. That moving forward again I will have to build anew, just as the same you once found yourself losing your part of your life as you lost the love of your life, that I’m scared most times, cry too much as I shake my own self to get it together,  knowing like before I can do it again but I won’t ever stop grieving for the life I loved before this crazy pandemic happened.

I grieve as I would grieve for someone I lost because to me I lost myself, I lost what I loved that I build to after my husband passed away. At night I lay awake thinking “will I get sick, will my family or worse will my only child?” It takes my breath away gasping for the light through all of this.  Nine years ago I worked hard to be the person I always knew I could be before the world stopped, yet again I feel as many others again, I am back to building new again to part of the person I lost the day the world was struck hardly with Corona Virus.

There’s got to be a way where I can find that person in me that was strong, that she’s still around and hope that soon she will show up, that not once ever that she got knocked down she stayed down.  Like the time before,  time is what it will take, to not get frustrated that some days you lay still in wonder, what will be of now, the unknown of it all is what gets in your head the most. With baby steps just like before you just make sure you keep moving.

I’m not going to hide anymore THAT YES I am having a hard time, that yes I’m not ok most days yet so grateful I get through each day and wake up for a new. Just know some people out there are not ok right now that claim to, seem, or say.  That we all shed a part of us that we will never get back.  I look forward to the many miracles I've seen like before building again but right now in this moment, that seems far away.  I will not be condemned to feel the loss I feel because everyone lost a part of themselves since the day the pandemic crept into our lives.

For right now I’m not ashamed to say I’m not ok for most days, that I miss my life of how it was and will grieve a long time for it. It feels as though that person I loved to where I got to be is gone, the person I thought I could never be is gone?  Not totally but half of, just as though the day I lost my husband I lost half of me, plans for our future, a love that I thought be for so much longer in the flesh.  I had to let go of that life, just as today I let go of who part of me was when the world grieved the loss of so many and still does.

Really I know I’m still the same yet a whole lot of me was taken away that I worked so hard to get but I know building back you can build stronger, that who you are never really does leave, you just got to take time to put the pieces back together, let go of what pieces you no longer need. So again I say no right now I'M NOT OK.  I've been down this road before, so right now I will take light in as I type this in the work I do from home helping others in crisis that need to talk and smile knowing I am helping others, that right now that is all I can take comfort in, to be grateful, feel rewarded in the pleasure knowing I'm in a position to help those in needs.  That right now is my blessing in this dark time that lurks often too much around.  

To feel grateful to have a home, to be healthy, yet the most of all to be a mother to a beautiful, precious daughter that forever keeps me on my toes, that often times shows me just how strong I am and wanting to definitely keep moving for her, for us.  To never ever give up the good fight, seeing her makes me strive to be the person I want to see her be as she grows.  So YES some days maybe more than some it's ok to say, to admit, NO I'M NOT OK.  Grieve for you, grief has no time limit but with baby steps just keep moving forward.  Wait for the change, all the miracles again yet you get to see as you build to the part of you, you lost.

To all that lost someone, my love, thoughts and prayers go to you all now and for a very long time.  To all the Essential Workers Thank you for keeping us safe, giving us hope and keeping this world going for us all.

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The Unknown

Getting a little sentimental looking back, looking to where we are today. I think of my family, my daughter, friends and even people I don’t know and start to cry knowing just how our lives changed within seconds.

I grieve for how it was before, knowing things won’t be the same, no one will be the same, yet I smile knowing through hard times always comes miracles through it, after it and years after to come. I miss the man who I felt the safest with but know he’s never far from me to protect us, guide us and keep us safe.

Looking for answers there is no where to be found, questioning why? where there is no answer to as well. Feeling frustrated, emotional, anxious, like there is no end to what I see around. In my head I know no time for negativity, yet some days it’s so damn hard to keep those thoughts far from my thoughts.

I don’t know what tomorrow or the next day will bring but if anything in the now is where I shall stay. Looking to my family knowing they are safe, seeing my daughter be a cool cat during such hard times is more of who I need to be. I’ve never seen such strength in a young lady that she has every single day.

She struggles with so much but shakes it off with love. I’m here today as every other day asking myself how did I get so damn anxious? yet try to be easy on my feelings and let them be at bay because we all are in a time we have never seen before. I heard the fraise “Cabin Fever” yet I shook my head thinking, no more like “Flight or Fight Mode” that’s what I’ve felt every single day. To realize this is not who I am, I’ve been through worse, so now is the time to be more than just half of who I am, to be the person my daughter needs to look up to.

To understand I can’t control what’s going on day to day but to protect, lead and love all in my life that need me the most, to be the support to those that need it the most. To protect others and ride out this ride of staying home. To think of negative will never bring you the love that you need, to think positive and be strong is where your mind needs to stay.

To take the time to bow your head to pray for all those that are no longer here even if a stranger, to pray for those that are out there fighting for us to be healthy and stay with food and be protected, to understand it’s more than just who we love in our life we need to love and pray for through this time of the hardest times we bare.

Riddle me this Riddle me that, please just for now save your mind from spinning about conspiracy theories, looking for conspiracy theories, wondering if this all is accident or not, don’t lose yourself now, keep your mind clear, be strong and just love. When this all clears, full speed ahead for answers you need, research for all of what we all want to know, just how exactly our world just shut down in a blink of an eye.

I cried the tears, feared the most, yet now is the time to love, pray and know I’m not perfect, that life won’t be the same but like other storms when cleared life comes to be nothing more than you could of ever dreamed it would be. The storm calms and beauty arises. Stand strong, breathe, love, inspire and know the day of light is on the way.

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