Conversation with your life

DEDICATED TO:  JANET AUTY-CARLISLE

 

It is funny how you never see what it is you are doing until you take the time to notice what it is that you have been doing for so long yet never realised until you took the time to see it, to slow down and find what it was.  perhaps sometimes it will be in an others voice that makes you realise it, sometimes its the little whispers that become louder and louder to you as well as your heart.  I do remember hearing from my husband passed how sometimes I was too serious, that sometimes I am always in too much of a hurry, he always disliked feeling rushed, now today his life lesson I see clearly why.

It wasn't until the other day that I have noticed just what it is that is so special to our life, something so simple that we all never stop to think of, to truly understand it as well as the meaning to it.  Talking to someone so special and so full of wisdom,  Janet Auty-Carlisle on the phone is what made me actually sit down to understand just how important it is for us all to do. 

 "Take time to just be in the now"  were the words I heard that struck me hard.  

It was then I noticed that through my life for so long I have not ever took notice to this.  For me it was always get it done, do this, what about tomorrow, what about an hour from now, never ever taking into consideration that its not about all that, it is about NOW, it is about what is happening NOW, its about taking time to understand and just be all here in this moment.  Thanks to Janet I found a piece of me in the NOW.  A little piece that has been hiding for far too long.

It is not about getting things done, rushing to get as much as you can done that lays your happiness, nor feeling accomplished.  No matter how fast you are in life it will never fast forward your life to erase the pain,  nor get you where you need to be any faster. As I walked this path of grieving it was all of me that truly believed to just make it through the day as fast as I could so it would be another day closer to feeling like me again, now as I sit her typing I know it is in the moment you find the little pieces of you that have been hiding in the pain.  It is in the NOW you find your life trying to speak to your heart telling you all the beautiful things that are happening that you miss if your moving so fast in life.  Its in the rush we lose those little blessings that were there all along just not noticed due to being NOT IN THE PRESENT.

So much of us believe the more you can get done the more accomplished you can feel, the more proud of yourself you will feel, for some it may be to just get through the day to say that you have made it through in hopes to feeling better faster.  It is not knowing that through the hustle and bustle we lose the little miracles of our life that we never noticed because we were moving so fast to get to some where we thought would be better, that we thought would be closer to feeling our dreams were closer.  I truly can not express to you what it was that I have took notice in due to just letting go of the FAST and truly taking in THE NOW, taking in this very moment, to not worry about a second from now, an hour from now, a day from now.  This weekend has truly been a AHA MOMENT of a life time.

For all of us that grieve it is in the rush we lose track of all the little pieces of stitching's to your heart mending.  When you rush to get through the day you miss the little healing that try to speak to your heart as well as soul.  Even for those that not grieve you miss out on the words being spoken to you, to your life, to your heart.  As I slowed down to be present this weekend my heart found bliss, my smile was more present along with laughter through out every second that I was all present.  As I took the time to just be here I took notice in so many things, I took notice in people and their love, I took notice in just enjoying their company, to be able to laugh, to feel so at peace, now as I say at peace I mean so much, to feel at peace with those I never thought I could of, to just feel happy, to feel a part of me that has been gone for so long.  In your pain as well as rushing you lose track of what it is, that what it was that meant so much to you before, you lose track to the pieces that are mended that have been all along just not realised in the rush.

This weekend was a huge AHA EYE OPENER of peace, joy as well as bliss to my heart, to my life.  It is in the rushing you miss all of your signs to your life, you miss the signs to your heart that want you to know that yes you are getting better, you lose touch with the fact that you are getting you back, little by little the signs are all there trying to show your heart,  yet in the rush they always go unseen.  Do not rush for so long that what you so long for becomes too long to notice because it is in the noticing your heart will beam, your life will rise higher then ever before.  I was moving so fast that all these little blessings to my life were unknown, the blessings of becoming myself again were there for too long that now as I am here in the moment I am finally capturing.  In those moments of blessings you take notice of is truly a feeling that words will never be able to explain. 

When you think of little to some you may think little, yet it is not in the word that you must take notice in, it is the feeling you feel of the blessing once you have realised it.  Babies to this world are a miracle, yet they to are little.  So it is in the little that the biggest of feelings take place, it is in that little that changes your life that you could of never thought of.  So little to me no longer fits the word,  yet it is all the little that brings that bigger then life blessing to you.  Take the time to see your healing's that are trying to speak to you, be here in this very second to breath, to take it all in even if it is something simple because it is being in the now truly where you will find the bigger then life moments, lessons, bliss as well as joy.

This passed weekend I noticed myself so relaxed I dosed off, that to others may sound like not a big deal,  yet to me it was a huge deal,  that I felt so relaxed along with falling asleep with out hesitation because for so long now I have never been able to do that.  For so long now I've been wrapped in so much that feeling so relaxed on its own is a big thing for me, for my heart, but on top of it falling asleep is even bigger to me due to sleeping being not easy for me to do at all.  I truly know now that being in this moment and no where else is truly a blessing to give to yourself, to give to your heart.  It is in the now you hear the stories your life is trying to tell you. Take the time to see your heart is mending, that little by little you start gaining you back.

NOTE TO ALL:  It is in the littlest of things that mean the biggest to you.  It is being here now along with present when you start hearing your life telling you your story.  It is in this moment you gain back your strength, joy, happiness.  Rushing is time wasted, time that is spent as though you are not able to see nor hear.  It is being all here your heart will beam your bright light that has been faded for too long due to rushing.

Be the presence you have always envisioned yourself to be, being in the now is the presence of your dream, through the now others will see your bright light, they will see your dreams, your love, your purpose.  BE PRESENT, BE NOW, BE HERE.