This is a place for all broken grieving hearts to come, its my safe haven and I share this with all of you to be your safe haven. I am hoping through my journey of grieving as well as my real life experiences through grieving I can help all through their darkest hours, to ease the pain a little less, to maybe just give an ear to listen because sometimes that's all we need.

I am willing to bare all to each and everyone who comes to this blog. I want no one to be shy of anything. I want anyone to ask question's, tell their stories with pride. No one will judge you, or think you are different. We are all here going through the same thing GRIEVING. This is my safe haven, your safe haven. The place to heal, to find your smile again. Through this all I am on a journey to writing a book as well "The Grieving Path To Joy".

Apr 19, 2012

I am where I am supposed to be



So here we go, I was told from a woman of great wisdom Janet Auty-Carlisle (mybestlifecoach) before writing to start with the one thing that came to mind.  First thing that sprung to mind was DREAM.  Starting from Friday April 13 2012, leading to Monday April 16 2012 it was all that and more than a DREAM.  All I kept thinking to myself be “I can’t believe I am here”.  I always knew dreams were ours to make come true; to actually live in it was more than proof to me as well as others around me.  Right now, right here I must say to everyone, never give up on what you believe in as well as what you dream.  If you can think it, see it, and then it’s there for you to live it.  As you all know I’ve been a widow for 11 months, which has led to start this blog for everyone out there who has become a widow/widower, to use my experiences to help others.

Friday April 13th was the start of a dream that I never gave up on, that I never stopped believing would come true.  Friday was a day of over flowing gratitude.  Thanks to my beautiful brother, all of what happened was due to him pushing me out of my comfort zone to a place where I truly shined.  This was how our road trip started to Toronto; this is the reason why I float in the clouds to this day.  I guess it’s time to tell what it was that made us travel to Toronto.

So it all starts with being invited by OWN-OWNCANADA NETWORK to attend a lovely Tea Party at Fairmont Hotel in Toronto.  Hearing after only a few selected due to the fact of being a Oprah fan as well as most being bloggers.  The Tea Party took place a day before Oprah’s Life Class on Monday April 16th.  Did you all see that correctly?  OPRAH, I went to see Oprah’s Life Class in Toronto, her first visit to Canada as well as her largest Life Class ever.  Joining her was Deep-ak Chopra, which I must say I LOVE and that’s putting it lightly, it doesn’t stop there.  Joining them was Tony Robbins, Iyanla Vanzant, as well as Bishop Jakes.  This to me is not the only thing that excited me beyond belief, it was also being able to meet the beautiful, amazing people that have enhanced my life so much, being able to meet OwnAmbassadors, a group that strives in helping growing OWN.  I cannot express enough how these people have helped me in every aspect of my life, from grieving to just knowing that TRUE BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIPS EXIST. 
As I sat in my seat at the Tea Party looking around the room seeing it full of truly amazing people, it was to my realization just how far I have grown.  Years ago I was not the same person I was right there in that moment.  I was in such awe that I was sitting there with people of such great significance.  That moment was when I realized my first A HA MOMENTS over the next day’s ahead.  It was then I realized I was not at all out of my comfort zone, I WAS IN MY COMFORT ZONE.  I had to make sure to take absolutely everything in, to absorb each along with every second of all that was around me.  This is where I truly recognized that the road I’ve been on through grieving has opened up new doors to who I was, how traveling down this road has led me to so many new chapters of my life.  In times of tremendous pain you can find the brightest of things if you allow yourself to find it.  Losing your spouse you lose your life as well, its realizing the new life you build to open oh so many beautiful beginnings if you allow yourself to rise above the pain.  So finding out later after the Tea Party the Toronto News was there, then leading to seeing myself on T.V was another many of moments I realized just how blessed that weekend truly was.  After Tea some of us OwnAmbassadors spent supper together.  Being in the presence with these people truly proved to myself this was exactly where I should be.  Not ever meeting once before this in person you would of never guessed it by seeing how truly we embraced one another, through good conversation, to a lot of laughs.  It all just flowed proving each of our lives was meant to cross paths, that we as well belonged to each and everyone’s life for a reason. 

May I mention how I probably will through this entire story how my brother graciously spent his time walking the streets of Toronto doing his own thing alone, all due to the fact that he was simply there to allow me to attend this all?  If not for him this dream would not be at all.  Also to mention NO SLEEP was acquired through this all, as anticipation along with excitement built each day until Monday the 16th would finally be upon us.
Let me just say how my world here in Windsor Ontario was rudely disrupted in finding how fast paced as well as HUGE Toronto was and felt to me.  Being in Windsor all my life led me to believe it was a big place to be, noticing there will always be a bigger, busier City out there in this world.  This is where I realized that as bad as I may of felt out of my comfort zone, that I was truly in my comfort zone, that putting your fears to rest is how you then start to live out of your boundaries, sulking in your dreams.  As being a person who always hid from her fears, seeing that person no longer exists was enough for me, then realizing it is through your fears you conquer your dreams was a confirmation of it all.  That no longer I was who I was before, that grieving has led me to see all of this.  If you know me then you know just how much I have grown.  Oprah has been the teacher to all of this.  In a way Oprah has been my teacher, my mentor, the wisdom behind what I’ve come to see I had all along.  I just never listened to myself; I never took the time to hear what it was that I was meant to do.  Thirty-four years later I found it, I’ve opened up to it all, losing my husband has led me to this.  His gift to me was finding myself, finding my passion, my purpose that is the greatest gift of all to give anyone.  So yes I suffered a great loss, yet it was his true unconditional love that has placed me here.  It is through him I have found the courage to live my life to the fullest.  It is also because of Oprah that I have opened my eyes truly; she is changing lives for the better around the world each as well as every day.  Oprah is creating friendships of the truest in this world, becoming a smaller world as people unite together to form love, respect, along with bonds that will last a life time.

Monday would be soon upon us, sleep was nowhere to be found the night before, as I layed eyes wide open in huge anticipation.  Having to start my day at 5:30am was nowhere near a problem to me after falling asleep at 4:00am.  Attending the morning of Life Class meant an extra early start.  Lack of sleep was no worries to me considering that day was the day I fought for so hard, for quite a long time.  While awakening I thought of my husband, it was our wedding anniversary day as well.  I knew in my heart it was of his love the reason I was there.  It was his gift of believing in me so much that pushed me to strive for that all I wanted.  His strong belief in me has projected through me very strongly.  Our daughter with all her pure love gives me all the strength I need to strive for it all, to live our dreams and shine.
Excited to find out after thinking I would be the only OwnAmbassador attending morning class Julie as well would be attending morning class.  This only confirmed how once something is meant to be everything else just falls in to place.  Our morning was about to embark on something so amazing, such of a true blessing that even you all will agree.  Something that put us all in a state of speechlessness and awe that happened along the way to Oprah’s Life Class.  Reminding you all that this day was my wedding anniversary day, my husband I believe blessed us this day where ever he may have been.  This is where I truly believe once you are where you are meant to be everything else just closes in, as putting pieces of a puzzle together.  Chatting it up as well as much laughing we realize we were going the wrong way however for some reason not one ounce of stress entered our bodies.  Just complete joy was all around us, nothing could shake us.  This is when I noticed how once you are living your dreams that it never ends.  Once you start to unfold your dreams is when the dreams become endless.  My brother yet again planned to just hang around Toronto allowing me to live my dream, also being without ticket.  As we come to say our good byes until later Julie strolled over to put her coffee in the garbage glancing at the mailbox next to the garbage, as I noticed the look on her face I approached her to find her jaw on the ground as she held on to a ticket for Oprah’s Life Class that stuck out of the mailbox.  Looking at this ticket over and over again in pure shock we come to see that YES IT IS REAL, IT IS VALID, IT IS FOR MORNING CLASS.  It was in that moment I think we realized just how the glorious of things do really happen.  This allowed my brother to accompany us to Oprah’s Life Class, still as I type this I cannot believe how everything just fell into place as needed.

The next five hours were again a feeling as though I was in a dream, like I’ve felt multiple times over the two days of our trip, from Tea Party to Oprah’s Life Class.  Deep-ak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Iyanla Vanzant, Bishop Jakes along with the one and only Oprah all took the stage right before my eyes.  I sat in my seat wondering if I really was there, looking to the crowd that went on for aisles and aisles.  Oprah’s beauty along with love shined brighter than the sun and all the stars together.  This is where I am going to leave you all reading this in suspense until the next post, describing all of A HA MOMENTS, to tears, as well as Oprah along with her power housed team that spoke to another fellow widow in the audience.  STAY TUNED YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT IS COMING NEXT  AS A WIDOW I COULD NOT BELIEVE, IT WAS AS THOUGH THIS CLASS WAS PRIVATELY FOR ME AND EVERY WIDOW OUT THERE.

Dreams are ours for the making; we just have to be the ones to make them happen, to believe with everything in us that we can do it, that we can achieve the highest of all through anything.  Big dreams don’t hold you back from achieving them; you do if you let fear take over.

To OwnAmbassadors I have met, you have touched my heart deeply, you all will remain in my heart always, and our bond is growing strong.  To OwnAmbassadors I have yet to meet, you all as well are in my heart, our bond will continue to grow and one day we will meet that is for sure.  OWN-OWNCANADA NOTHING TO SAY EXCEPT I LOVE YOU.  OPRAH I thank you from the deepest of my heart and soul for truly loving us, for bringing your wisdom to the world to make a better, brighter place.




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