This is a place for all broken grieving hearts to come, its my safe haven and I share this with all of you to be your safe haven. I am hoping through my journey of grieving as well as my real life experiences through grieving I can help all through their darkest hours, to ease the pain a little less, to maybe just give an ear to listen because sometimes that's all we need.


I am willing to bare all to each and everyone who comes to this blog. I want no one to be shy of anything. I want anyone to ask question's, tell their stories with pride. No one will judge you, or think you are different. We are all here going through the same thing GRIEVING. This is my safe haven, your safe haven. The place to heal, to find your smile again. Through this all I am on a journey to writing a book as well "The Grieving Path To Joy".

May 27, 2013

Are you the real you?


 

Remembering me as a little girl I remember how everything I looked to was so full of life, the color of the world was bright, and worries were nowhere to be found.  Growing each year I noticed the way of thinking in my mind changed as each year went by.  The beauty of the wind through my hair, the bright vivid colors of the world, the grass that moved with the wind, the laughter at almost anything that came to my attention, all things I seen as a little girl grew becoming more and more invisible as the day I was so very young.  Not really noticing the beauty of it all fading,  I grew taking on life’s lessons to my life not ever taking a second guess those things I once looked to were taking on new perceptions due to what others sculpted me to believe.  Opinions of others took place of what it was I thought of how things should be.  Soon enough looking back there was me sculpted into someone that believed so much in all opinions of others of how I was, it was not how I felt of me , it was how others seen me as.
Being a little girl growing without the love of her father carried a deep burden on my shoulders creating a force field of all positive away from me.  The perceptions, comments, thoughts of others was how I seen how I would be, how I was.  I started to grow yet myself perception was not as it should be, it was not perceived by me; it was by what I had learned from negative thoughts of others.  The scar of being a fatherless daughter went deeper than the heart.  All of my uniqueness, my confidence, self-esteem was not something that grew with me as I got older.  It is so easy to listen to the words so loud all around you if you allow yourself to hear it for so long.  I grew into a lady shy to stand up for what she believed in, shy to speak words to anyone at all, caring too much what others would say if did.  I believe so many people allow letting go of their true selves because the loudness of voices of others all around them, they allow that to become who they are rather than listen to their own mind, their own heart, their own soul.  So many people walk unknown in their life thinking they truly know who they are when all reality it is not them, it is others that have programmed them to feel the way they do. 
I look back to the old me to see how happy she is to see that finally I have embraced my own self, my own life, my own love.  Not so many are lucky enough to catch this as they grow In the life they live, these people are the ones that are quick to lash out to those who do know who they are, that do believe in themselves and dreams they bare to grow.  It is in those people that find it hard to see others light shine so bright that can create such a hate in this world due to not letting go of the perceptions of others that created who they are to start understanding for themselves who they are for themselves, to understand who they are on their own.  Who we are is not what others tell us we are, we are the ones that decide who we are, we are responsible for growing into life as how we see it, how we feel it, how are heart is whispering to us to let us know who we are.

 

While we live our life is so important to embrace the lessons shown to us as we go step by step through the days of life we live, yet what lessons are truly being embraced if the person you are is not who you should be?, what are we learning if we take those lessons perceived of how others programmed our mind?, we do not learn what our heart and soul need to be to be the unique person we are on this earth to be.  It’s not about what happened to you, it’s not about what you went through, it about knows in your heart how it was truly how you made it through all you did by being your true self, not by what others created you to be.  If it took me 35 years to find out, to reprogram those voices to hear my own, what if others don’t realise at all?  Once you start it is as though being born again, growing again, seeing life through your own eyes, finding your wholeness, it is as though life has opened to be seen as a whole new brighter different world then you see so long ago through the eyes of how others made you see it.  It is not easy, yet growing to be the true you is work, hard work that is never over.  That to me also reminds me that it is possible so many let themselves be controlled by others due to being your own authentic self is hard work that goes on each and every day you wake.  Is that why we allow ourselves to let go to be someone else?  Hard work scares our inner strength?  I take notice in so many of things that it takes my breath away when I remember the day my heart had open, the day I found the true me and chose to continue to find that true me. 
We all are here to be different, instilled in us is a purpose, those that believe who they are by others will never find that unique purpose they were brought to this world to do, it’s upsetting in a way because each our purpose is what helps the world grow to be the strongest, loving, brightest it can be.  Those that perceive who they are by what they went through, hard times to deal with, pain that they get stuck in are those that need to be freed of the perception they are not who their stories are.  People stuck in their stories need to find who they feel they are and let go to what others tell them they are or should do.  The validations of others are not where you are, it is not what you need to become who you really are.   The validation of your own you is what need to be heard.  Look at the people around you; are they the ones that grew in your life?  NO it is you that grew in your life.  Most may feel it’s scary to be who they are due to judgement of others, that was my problem to that I say it is not their dreams you are trying to conquer, it is not them who try to be you, the uniqueness of you opens doors to the real you, it opens the doors special designed for your soul. 

How does our soul ever grow if we hold on to things that aren’t really who the true person we need to be is?  It is after all our soul that needs to bring in all lessons to our truly divine self in order to fully grow and become who it is you always dreamed to be.  It’s hard work yes, but to see yourself smile, believing in the real true you is a little miracle all on its own.  In the hard work lays magic each true step you walk through life.  That means bearing all the pains in the world that come your way, it is in seeing the real you the strength to make it through to see the blessings to your life, to keep seeing life in vivid color, open heart, full of love is how you turn the pain around to see the magic that is.  Like I mention to those that grieve is the same to anyone there is two places you hold things, your mind, your heart, it is within your heart you will change the place in your mind on who you really truly are, it is in your heart you change the perception of how others made you become who they wanted you to be. 
  
 

The saying “why would you want to blend in, when you should stand out” is a saying that should speak to everyone’s heart, we are all here to stand out, it is in the standing out you help others understand that they too are here to be unique, to live life using what it is they have in them to reach out into this world to touch hearts of so many that are lost, that blend in.  It is up to us to be our authentic self to make this world a place of unconditional love, a place where judgement is nothing but a word, a word with no meaning, no value.   What is it you feel, see, hear, smell all around you, if it is nothing that touches you in some way then that is when you know your true self is being held hostage to what others made you believe who you are. 
If you feel things that you come across and feel in your heart meanings to certain things you see, feel, smell, hear than you truly understand the lessons that have been given to you have been given to the true inner you.  To hear the birds and smile, to feel a special feeling to a song that brings back memories of a special moment, to smell the flowers to smile knowing life is growing all around you, to see the uniqueness in the world all-around you is when you know your heart is authentically your own, to understand that in that area is where magic happens, where miracles unfold.  To hold on to the scars that linger deeply inside you is to stay stuck in the life where you need to be growing, being proud to show the world those scars of beauty is to truly let go to continue finding bits and pieces of the true you.   It is so very hard to carry the burden of some of life’s painful lessons yet it’s even more wondrous to let go to find the beauty of you growing in the direction you always wanted to be.  Once you learn to let grow, accept, move forward you start to see the bliss of how your life was always meant to be, it has always been there but you just had to let go, feel your heart, let the voices of others in your mind go.  Pain is crippling to our heart, mind, body, soul yet to feel that pain to turn into positive is really where the lessons start to talk to your soul. 
Don’t let the perception of who others set you to be keep you from owning the truth of you, the real you, the unique, different you.   Everyone put here on this earth is to be different, yet to others being different is something that is scary, it’s looked at as to be odd, not right when in all actuality they too are different yet just haven’t seen it yet.  Growing to become the real you is a blessing given to you the day you were born, to use your uniqueness to help out everyone in this world.  I am happy to say that after 35 years I am happy to do the hard work, the day I truly opened my eyes I could not go through life fast enough to embrace the magic all around me.  I look back to the little girl who was really herself to smile knowing she is back where she should be.   Losing my husband was how I found out who the real true me was, losing him opened me up to find the real purpose of my life, pain is not pain, pain will set you free.
 


When you look to another to find yourself thinking “weird”, erase that thought to understand no not weird it is them being the unique person they were gifted with.   It is really what we all are gifted with but some of us choose to blend in order to not be judged or looked at to be different, like an outcast.  Take that child in you to hold on to it through the life as you grow, it’s in your inner child is where the true you lays, where your pure of love lingers, where your true purpose lives.  Breaking the mold is what it is all about, I’d rather break the mold any day than be branded as a twin to something the same.  It is never too late to wake up to find the real you, I just hope many will notice it and break the mould that others made them to be.
 
Remember the two places of sacredness your heart, your mind, in those two places is where we can change the ways of our thinking.  In your heart will always lay the authentic you trying to break free, allow your mind to hear those words speaking from your heart.  I know I am different, I know what it is my heart loves is different, that others will never understand why it is I do what I do but I also know it is ok due to the fact that it is the realness of the purpose that I was blessed with.  Grieving is tough for those to engage I get that, but not ever will I let others make me shy from what it is that is the real of myself, I’d rather touch the millions of hearts that grieve then let others mould me into what it is they think I should be doing or be.  What’s your hearts love telling you to do?  Do not ignore it to embrace it, do not ignore it because you may feel others will not agree it is right, our purposes have no right no wrong our purpose is a gift gifted specifically to us to reach out into the world to use.
Embracing your purpose branches out to oh so many other purposes that you could never think possible.  Don’t be trapped by the thoughts of others because what is ahead for you is so much more.  Find the uniqueness in you to let it shine bright out to the world, it is in that brightness others will no longer be afraid and let their own shine bright with yours.  Letting go of the perception of who you should be allows others to set themselves free as well.  “We are not our stories”, “we are not our past”, we are not limited in time to reach our dreams, dreams have no age, it is never too late to be YOU and the real true you.  Look deep into your pain to find the light that is trying to shine onto you.
 
NOTE TO ALL:  Don't sacrifice the real you for anyone because the gifts that lay in your future are to be forgotten, invisible to the eye.   The magic happens where the real true you takes action in knowing that yes, that is really truly you.  Being you allows lives to be saved, it allows others to understand it is ok to be who they are.  Find your bright light in the pain you bare.
 
 


 

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