Soul to Soul

 



It is not about being a widow nor being stuck in my story that I carry the word widow proudly.  It is about letting the scars of my beauty of a widow shine bright out to those that are in need of light.  I carry the word proud in knowing that it is not about carrying the word widow as baggage but as a gift that opened a world of magic to everything in me.  Today I thought to myself as I sat out in the sunshine, what if all that go through such heartache learn to break that pain with the moment that they are in, to see the life that is around them?  I know for sure that something broke me but broke me in a glorious way when I lost my husband; it is as though his wings touched my heart leaving me with seeing all as a soul not a human.  

Today I gasped for air so many moments in time due to the force of good energy that followed me throughout my day to night.   What if losing my husband gifted me something that not all get in this life time?  We all do have our gifts yes but what if it was something that clicked in my soul the day he left his human body?   In this busy life we live it us up to us to know where it is we stand, I mean to truly understand what it is where we are in the moment. 

It is deep in my heart I know that what I have gone through is what needs to be used to others that grieve so they too can understand the little of miracles that are trying to speak to them in the dark that they feel.  I know so many of places, people out there do the same as what I do but for me it is different to me I feel you, I hear you, my soul connects to yours to understand what it is you need.  I see so many stories of pain that my heart aches that in that pain they will never see the magic that is right there inside them waiting to be acknowledged yet berried more and more by sadness.  Some people look at me in shock to try and understand why it is I feel the way I do, why it is I am not holding onto the pain like so many does.  I guess that is what makes me different as we all should be.   This is where I truly start wondering, reaching deep into my heart, to understand that I do this all from my heart that from my heart is where nothing but pureness comes out. 

 

 

I know in all of me my husband passed blessed me with a gift to show, to be unconditional love to those that grieve, he brushed my cheek to awaken my being to allow me to learn all I could to process grief so in return I could be that unconditional love he was and blessed my life with.  As he left me here on earth he guides me now in the spirit world, he more than anyone always seen a gift in me when he was here on earth, he told me that it is all there in me I just needed to believe in myself to see it, to grow it, to use it.

Seeing so many heart aches makes my heart break, seeing that so many are in the same pain I felt breaks me, I want to scream from the top of the mountain to all that grieve to help them, to get to each and every one of those that grieve.   So little by little I will continue to reach out to the hearts all around me, believe in me that it is possible, day by day I keep the dream growing, I let the positive stay upon me to never ever doubting in me is all I need to become the person to grief that I want to be.  

I said the other day “I don’t want to be Oprah I just want to be the impact she is to so many to all that grieve”, The uniqueness of who we are is what separates us from the trueness of those that are not out to love but to better themselves.  It is not about putting me on a pedestal at all, it is being able to use that difference in me that is there to be used out into this world to all that grieve.   To remember the love of God works in mysterious ways to bring out the uniqueness in us all, the purpose we carry.  It is the darkest of places is where we have to find that purpose, not to understand but to find, to feel, to grab a hold of to understand yes bad things happen yet letting go of the bad to understand that good that is trying to speak to your heart.

 

 

 

Feeling the pain of loss I know breaks each and every part of your being but your heart always finds the way to be put back together.  Piece by piece it whispers to you, if you are in the pain your ears don’t hear those whispers.  We all feel the word asked by so many WHY???   Do not look for the why look for the where you need to be.  As our loved ones passed leave us on earth they need us to break that pain so we can hear the whispers of our hearts, to understand to fully live the life here on earth in honor of them, to know that all of our lives are far too precious to be in darkness for too long. 

 I am far from a pro and far from having my bad days yet I know in me my heart walks the walk and wants to see me walk the walk.  Find the gift your heart was touched with and understand what it is it is trying to tell you.   Even in the breaks of pain you will start to find these little whispers if you listen, you will start seeing things that never seen the same as before.  It all comes to you in little pieces day by day only if you are free from pain.  Even if for just a second the little blessings are there reaching out to you.   Everyone has a story, but how many horrific stories is there that have turned it around to see the silver lining?  How many out there have you seen and asked yourself “why can’t that be me?”

 

NOTE TO ALL:  If we are all souls which we are than how more connected can you be to your loved ones passed if you are taking in all of their soul into you and your life, SuperSoulSunday thank you for that AHA MOMENT.  Our loved ones passed may no longer be here on earth but our souls connect, we truly take in all of them and connect as close as can be soul to soul and carry that with us each day we live.