One with Nature One with Love

Part of a journal entry of my husband passed journals that I do not think it was for no reason I came upon it this week.

I am in the moment of my life where everything feels new, everything is new, starting over may bare the pain of horrific pain like no other yet at the same time as you look around you see things in a totally new way, as though things that once looked at before seem more vibrant, seem more beautiful, your heart this time around sees everything along with your eyes.  It is as though your eyes of your heart are making your eyes open widely, you look to something that just was a tree but this time your heart sees it as the beauty of all the wondrous of living things all around you that brings peace to your heart as you just sit, shut out the world and breathe.  

In the air, the breeze, the trees, the flowers, the grass, the animals of nature, the clouds, everything all around you comes a smile from the heart in awe of where true peace lays for you in moments of your despair, sadness and pain.  Never once before have I ever opened up to all of life how I have now, and ask myself "why have I waited so long to see life truly and so vivid as it should of been seen?".   I then smile in knowing in the lessons of my loss I give great thanks to my husband passed for opening the eyes of my heart, as the way he seen life every day he was here that was always over looked by my life I never knew of before "being in the moment", being right in this very moment. 

In nature you feel one with everything all around you and in that one is LOVE, that is when you feel the most love that surrounds and in feeling that love you feel the love that never leaves you, you created with your loved one passed.  It's coming up on three years since I lost my husband passed and like every year I find myself how shocked I am of the sting of pain that still is felt so deep in all of me, yet in my ways I am also surprised that just as fast as that pain comes leaving me feel in total debilitation how fast it leaves, in awe of the power of prayer, the wind that gently touches my cheek, my smile that surprisingly comes back to my face, the peace that settles in all of me, coincidence?  I do not think so, once you get yourself into a place, a special sacred place that you love that removes all negativity that once surrounded your whole being.  

"Symbolism of  Robins", Robins represent spring, new beginnings.  The red breast is a sign of honor, a badge of courage.  Legend has it that a robin got its red breast when it tried to remove a thorn from Christ's crown of thorns when he was crucified.  The thorn pierced the birds chest, thereby causing it to bleed".

If you find your ways you will find your strength to understand in that space no harm can be done unto you, only LOVE is seen and felt.  That is truly when you are allowing yourself to see from your heart, when you hear the whispers of beauty speaking to you all around you in the beauty of where you are.  

The power of prayer is always often under estimated, through the hard times of my days before now I prayed, I prayed to God, I prayed to my husband, my angels and it is of no coincidence that through that I have felt the ease of my pain, to look around to the beauty that surrounds me to smile, to feel peace to know through it all is that love, the love you lost is all around you if you find your place and just be all there in the moment in silence and taking in each breath of it all.

  Then the over powering of the loss of my father takes on with the loss of my husband making me feel I cannot breathe, tears may fall but this does not mean that is weakness setting in that will stay with you, a good cry replenishes the old to breathe in all the new, after the tears you realize this is not how it should be, the loss is there but the love resides, these special loves of your life become a stronger presence in your life than ever before then they were while here in the flesh.

  In surprises they are the guidance, signs, to every step you take in life, they are the surprises that find a way to your heart to guide you a path bigger and brighter to what you could of ever imagined, they don't miss your stepping stones, your happy moments they are the ones that brought you there.  So if you find yourself saying after a great accomplishment "I wish they were here to see this" remember they are, they are the ones that helped guide you to get there. 

 I always laughed in frustration why it was my husband was so into the outdoors, yet through him I have found the greatest of blessings to my heart why he did, in guidance of all he loved to do I find in doing what he loved finding my little pieces of treasures to see exactly why he loved what he did.  

So no matter what anniversary it is that you lost your loved ones passed do not despair that sting of pain that you feel each year that it comes along, because grief is a thing that never leaves us, it is the constant reminder of the piece of our heart we lost, yet smile in knowing the lessons of great strength and growth you take on through each year, holiday, anniversary, special moments of remembering.  

The secret is there is no secret you use what you have in all of you to make it through the days of your hard times, you will find through each day surprisingly you find the tools for your own needs to make it through, don't be fooled though each little piece you gain that helps you through your pain is given to you through the love of your angel and God himself carrying you through to each peace that you feel through the pain that once was, to see the beauty and blessings that find there way to you and your heart.  

My husband passed laugh is what gets me the most, I stop in silence to remember his laughter and just how high pitched it was, like it sounded like a girl,  that makes me laugh in remembrance of it to find my tears turn to a smile.  I remember just how he was placed in my life to shape me to the person I lost a long time ago,  I believe in all of me graced in my life by the hands of God and his love, my angel here on earth to show me that my life, that my life alone was so much more than my heart and eyes were seeing.  

Remembering the touch of his warms hands and whole heart hugs he gave so freely as many times a day he could.  Remembering our special moments of how the happiness and power of love consumed our every days, reminds me there is no pain in that at all, to leave the pain out no matter how tight the grip may seem on you to let it go to know it was in those memories you felt your happiness to let go of that grip that strongly tries to keep you captive.  

To honor the love of life all around you, to know in the one of it all is nothing but that love you been blessed upon by all your loved ones passed.  Gods creation of love is all around, it grows, it breathes, in that special of it all is a reminder just as beautiful as it is all around you that you as well are the creation of that love and that beauty.  Grateful to of found journals my husband kept that he wrote every day of what he did for a very long time, I smiled in knowing just how much of a treasure it was to find, I cried but soon after that cry I found the miracle of all of our love in them journals, stories of our milestones, our memories, our love.   

I remember being in my spot outside in thoughts of my husband passed to suddenly see three robins flocking to where I was all at the same time and feeling nothing but the warmth of great peace and love,  aligning yourself with all of the beauty of nature is to aligning you heart to all of the love in the world to lift you past your pain to understand in every beauty of a moment in nature is piece of your loved ones passed.  It is never of no coincidence that once focused in the moment of the beauty that seeks you that you find a moment where your heart just knows that love is there and stronger than it ever was.

Anything that puts a smile on your face is not of no reason, that smile was brought to you for a reason, to grace you with peace in knowing you are never walking your life alone, that through each and every single day you are tuning into the higher frequency your heart should, that in that highest of frequency is your true gift of many doors that open handing to your heart all of what you need to make it through your hard times. 

Remembering my husbands passed smile reminds me of the sun that shines bright unto me each and every day.  Remembering his love that was stronger than anything is reminder to me that earth angels are put in our life for a reason, that now not seen the power of their gifts become stronger to you and all walks of your life you go through.  Aligning with nature is a powerful frequency that opens the gates full of the love of all of this world, because as nature was a creation of love so were all of us, and each of the creation of nature lays a piece of us and our love.

So a little funny before I sign off, one of many funny moments of my husband passed, we all gathered to visit at my moms and through the night on the couch our daughter had put a plate of cookies, my husband not knowing sat down on the cookies, while all of us laughing and tearing up from laughing so hard as he stood up the cookies were stuck to his behind ha ha, still not knowing what we laughed at so hardly he laughed not even knowing why then realizing just as our daughter grabbed a cookie off his pants and took a bite, it is through the funniest, greatest of memories we will find that pain is never stronger than the memories forever locked in our hearts to use every time we feel the bad days of pain and the sting of the loss.

Nature is purest of love, as is you are in alignment to all of its beauty and love.