This is a place for all broken grieving hearts to come, its my safe haven and I share this with all of you to be your safe haven. I am hoping through my journey of grieving as well as my real life experiences through grieving I can help all through their darkest hours, to ease the pain a little less, to maybe just give an ear to listen because sometimes that's all we need.

I am willing to bare all to each and everyone who comes to this blog. I want no one to be shy of anything. I want anyone to ask question's, tell their stories with pride. No one will judge you, or think you are different. We are all here going through the same thing GRIEVING. This is my safe haven, your safe haven. The place to heal, to find your smile again. Through this all I am on a journey to writing a book as well "The Grieving Path To Joy".

Jun 16, 2013

Is It Truly Over?

Now in these days of your life it is even more sacred to your heart as well as soul that you BELIEVE in you, that you DREAM of all your dreams still, not ever forgetting what it is you have always dreamed of to be and to do.  Even through grief the dreaming in your dreaming fades yet it never leaves your heart, that whisper that was so loud may be very faint but it never ever stops whispering to you.  In your pain it just dulls but never ever leaves you completely.  To say that “your dreams are no longer due to the loss” is to say you are not breathing.  To accomplish all of what you have ever thought to do before with your loved ones passed does not leave just because they leave their human bodies here on earth.  To say “I let go of those dreams we had together” is also to say your heart has stopped.

Your loved ones pass share their dreams still with you in this life you move through without them, they see you, they know, they try to whisper to you “don’t let go”, moving forward without seeing them does not mean they don’t go with you through it all.  Through each and every walk you walk you carry them closer to you than before.  It is not up to you to let that go what you once dreamed of so much, God build so many of dreams for you, dreams that we could of never imagined, those dreams don’t leave you, your heart beats, you breath, your dreams carry on as long as you do.  Yes dreams are there yet to not believe in you is to let go of them all, the dreams given to you are to be captured, not to let go and let linger through your life without accomplishment in them all.  It is God that enriched those dreams in your life, it is up to you to see those dreams and work hard no matter what to see them come to reality.
I don’t mention God often but yes my heart deeply knows of him as well as believes there is, if not than not one of us would be here.  It is because of the many nights of tears through tears I made to where I am today in this ragged path of grief I walk.  Look at where you are now in this grieving process, look to how you have made it through each day, it is because God has a plan for you still, his love, your prayers has brought you through it.  It’s not up to God though to keep you believing in you, chasing your dreams, it is you, it is all up to you to make it happen, to want to make it through.  Those in grief are so blinded by pain that the thick mask of grief leaves you feeling all is gone, it is through the strongest love, the littlest strength you have in you, the oh so many countless of prayers is truly what will lift the mask from your eyes to open your heart to the world to know “yes this is it, this is how it’s meant to be, nothing is impossible to no one, that in this huge world there is plenty of room for all of us to make it to all our dreams.

 Ask yourself, what are my dreams?  What were our dreams together?  What were your loved ones passed dreams?  Than what comes after you ask that?  It’s the feeling that a rush of pain comes flooding in to all of you like a hard wave crashing into all of you, although the pain sets in hard it is you that than should tell yourself that all of the dreams do not leave you, they do not change, it does not mean it is no longer.   You take all the dreams to listen to your heart to work through the worse of the pain to make it in all of you happen, YES it is possible, even though our loved ones passed are not here we are the ones here in honor of them, it is up to us to take action and make it happen.  Through every little step you reach to each goal it becomes bigger than before as the little combines building up to the bigger and bigger of dreams you are accomplishing day by day.  It is in all the little that adds to the big one.  The dreams of your loved ones passed and you share don’t break, it does not mean you can’t or that they are no longer worth doing.  It means as you are holding on so tight day by day to make these things happen your pain rapidly gets smaller, so small that your mind completely focuses on the dream where the pain no longer has a hold on all of you. 

As you build your foundation back off of your new slate built with a little of the old you reach the higher part of dreams not even realising you are building up, up, up each and every day.  Yes as you achieve the greatness you seek there will be times you feel a surge of sadness deep in your heart but then know that unseen you are being walked through it all by the hand of your loved ones passed, that your dreams together are still being accomplished by you in honor of that love.  I say this because through my grief I thought the same I thought “so much for the dreams we dreamed together” yet started noticing they did not go anywhere they still waited for me just in a different way.  The belief in you is there, now even stronger than before you have the unconditional love with you still to push you through all you need to get through, the wings of your angels are the most powerful of love ever that will show you the way if you allow them to.

We all should know this by now BELIEVE in you and everything else will align to all of what you have ever thought of.  "Use me, God, show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself" ~ Oprah Winfrey.  You do know that the purpose in you is there still and in grief it can be achieved, in that purpose is your dreams, to give up is to stop breathing.  No matter how hard it is for us after losing our loved ones passed it is through seeing the silver lining in it is what will rise you above to see it all, no words describe, the feeling is a feeling as they day you fell in love with your loved ones passed yet more intensified, knowing in that feeling that you carry them with you in each walk of your purpose you take.  It does not stop after they leave this world, their hopes, their dreams, beliefs, all lay within you now to take a hold of and do.


I say this because of all that has happened to me from the beginning of my grief up to now, so many of little by little things coming closer to making the bigger of things show.  In it all I know in the beginning I let go of it due to the mask that is so thick over our eyes in pain, little by little you find your purpose that fades that mask each little step you take in the action of fulfilling that purpose.  It is in the now after the past few weeks that I truly see now that not one of us is limited to what it is we see ourselves being, doing, and reaching for in the life we live.  That once those little steps you start taking eventually builds up towards the bigger steps waiting ahead for you.  That it does not die when our loved ones passed do, they don’t truly die either they become the soul of energy that we all are, so as is our dreams. 

Soon after my husband passed there was a huge love in me to want to help each and every person I could going through what I was, that I did not want no one to feel alone, to not feel the compassion and love that they needed through this, it is as though on that day my purpose yelled out to me very loudly what it was I needed to do that never heard before.  My husband passed graced my heart with his unconditional love for others, to use what it was he did every day he was here, help people no matter if he knew them or not, yet in my own way, to use that gift he carried in a special way, to use it to those that grieve.  I started my blog, Facebook, grief coaching, in belief that yes one day I will get this out there, I will get noticed as well as heard to as many people as I can that grieve, to show them all that unconditional love, to show them all YES you still can have your dreams, you just have to BELIEVE and never ever let go of yourself, or your dreams. 

The last two weeks have been all proof I need to believe in the higher of power that guides us every day of our life that our loved ones passed love is the power of you and your dreams that you feel are no longer.  All of what I thought of is now in front of me, all my dreams I thought of have come to reality that it takes my breath away.  My blog WidowintheCity I always believed in all of me will reach out to the world, to come to life on TV to reach so many more that grieve just came reality, our radio show T&K OWN TALK I had always wanted to be a FEATURED show on BlogTalkRadio is now currently a FEATURED show due to BlogTalk loving it.  Traveling to Lifeclass in Chicago is happening this Monday; the rest of that dream will be in a blog post coming soon.  Always wanting to participate in lifeclass to help others that struggles has been opened, all of the dreams I carried in me are manifesting right before me one after another with no end in sight.  Yet here I am a widow, that so many in the beginning believe that there dreams have ended the day their loved ones passed left this world, NOT TRUE.


I say to the grieving that due to having to have that new slate all the more becomes more clear to our hearts, things before that once faded double back our way not letting us not feel what we felt so long ago but may have not been felt for the busy life we lived, the dreams we may have had were dull due to leading the busy lives we had.  The clean slate may knock us off our feet but somewhere in that clean slate if allowed our soul is awakened, it is reborn to of how it was before all of life made it so dull after being so busy in our life of hustle and bustle, not saying this is due to our loved ones passed, just saying sometimes in life we work so hard towards what it is we feel in the time is all we want that we forget to be all here in the moment, in that fast our souls don’t have the time to take in all of what it needs around us.  In this new slate we are given all of us intensifies, everything that once was a whisper becomes a scream, again only if our hearts allow it to be, holding on to pain 24/7, believing it is over makes that scream even fainter.  Our dreams don’t leave us, our belief, our faith, we just have to allow it to resurrect once again. 

Letting the dreams touch your heart again may feel to some is to betray the love you share with your loved ones passed when in reality that is not so, the sacred place you keep that unconditional love wants you to dream, wants you to carry out your purpose, use the level of unconditional love in all of that to use out into the world as our loved ones passed did while here with us.  They want us to dream, they want us to become who we always were supposed to be, they walk with us guiding us to where it is we need to be to become all of that and more.  It is not hocus pocus, it is taking the unconditional love that you were shown and using every part of it outwards, it’s in the knowing that yes it does exist that awakens our life, that unconditional love is all how everyone should know of, should feel, so when our loved ones passed leave this world it is up to us to keep that going, so to say it stops, that it is over is to say the world don’t deserve to keep that unconditional love moving out into the world to so many who are in need of it.

Your life you feel you lost may be different, what I am saying is to feel it is over is to let that unconditional love needed in this world left to be lost, to use that unconditional love taught to you by your loved ones passed in your own special way out into the world, helping, using it to magnify your purpose, it is in that love where everything becomes open, your heart opens even more than before to understand just exactly what it is to do to fulfill your dreams that you thought have ended when your loved ones passed left.  It’s a struggle to keep our mind clear, focused, to keep our belief strong but baby steps is all it takes to get to the bigger strides that come the more and more you start seeing things happen that you thought could never.  Of course the huge loss will make all of us feel the raft of that loss and as though our life is no longer yet through it you can find it in you to make the life you have always wanted, learn to put that sacred love in a special place to use it in the most painful times that you go through.  Our loved ones passed are there cheering us on every step up that we make, signs of the positive will be all around if you truly lift the mask that has been put on you by the heartache you feel. 


 NOTE TO ALL:  What I am trying to explain is that I am no one special, no different than all of you, if I can be where I am now, you all surely can be here to, choose in your heart to know that your dreams don't leave, your belief fades but is up to us all to grab that to never let go.  Our dreams are there waiting for us to find our way back, our purpose is there and once you find out how powerful it can be combined with the unconditional love blessed to you by your loved ones passed nothing will ever feel impossible to you again.  I can not even tell you all that has been happening, that has not yet to stop in the last year I been gaining my strength, belief, faith and of course knowing the sacred place of our love is there in me, that in that space is where you create a life of how it should of always been.  You take back that life that should be with two only now with just one, yet to know on the outside it may seem one to others but to you in your heart you know its two, that it is you that takes on the dreams for the both of you, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, that is what truly burns the passion to your purpose to ignite the flame in you to see this life with totally different eyes, it is in the rebuilding you find the pieces that were lost before. 

Again I say our loved ones passed want to cheer us on as we walk holding on to the dreams we shared to still conquer them, to still believe you can even if you look on the outside you are one on the inside you know you are still two.  If anything it is their wings that will guide our hearts to exactly where we need to go to reach all of what we imagined.  Say what it is you want OUT LOUD, let God know you are ready to be of service to him, that you can do it, that you are ready. Tell your heart as well as soul that now it is the time you are ready to truly live the life that has always been in your dreams.  Look around you everyday to be in the moment, no rushing, no struggling, no hard feelings, just look to everything in a calm beautiful way to be in the moment you are in, not in the future you want to be, not even a second ahead of where you are now.  The beauty you will see as you look around in that moment is where it all is and happens. 

So our loved ones passed left us here on earth but never left us in spirit, in love, their gift of unconditional love never stopped the day they left us either, it is up to us to carry that through in the life we build forward to.  Its in that love sparks fly, flames are sparked, belief is stronger, most of all it is where we allow our self to DREAM BIG.  Yes if you know me this is what I always say because I know DREAMING BIG is not just a saying it is an action, if you don't carry that with you the belief fades.  Don't give up on your life, don't feel as though it is no longer, look to the light to leave the darkness that makes you feel that way, look to the great love you have to soar above all the negative that keeps you down.  Little by little, it is always in the little you will start to see that it builds to the bigger that is what you envisioned for so long ago.  BE THE PURPOSE, be the purpose backed with the unconditional love and you will find it, you find you.  It is never over after you lose your loved ones passed it is always just beginning, as for your loved ones passed it is just the beginning for them as well in the new life they go to, yet in that life their energy can be of great significance to us here where we are and they know that.  On the day they leave is when we gain our angel of guidance, love, and forever love that burns a passion of purpose in us so strongly, don't ignore it, don't be afraid, embrace it, embrace you.




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