Be the Warrior

So in hard times is to find the good in you, around you everywhere because in hard times dealt to you one after another where it seems endless it is important to not let that suffocate you from the positive, love and shine in you, to seek the good no matter how hard, to find that silver lining no matter how hard is a must to your sanity to your soul, to your everything.  I have never been dealt with so many heart wrenching things as I have this past week, seriously it’s almost breaking, can you come to a point where you do actually break from so much happening all at once?  I am afraid to understand just why these hard times have come on so fast and never ending that it literally takes the breath out of me, then that’s when your whole being starts to take a turn for the worse if you allow it, for me I take the knock downs to rest, to gather all of me back again and think for the positive, to understand that there is so much pain out there that my own is not the only going on.  You have to understand that the toughest of warriors in this life are those dealt with so much yet still stand looking in it all for the lessons to their hearts are.  For me no matter how negative I want to fall and let myself think, in me is the warrior to understand that there is not anything that has come way to knock me down for good because through it all I found my silver linings and lessons In it all to grow.

For all feeling they are going to lose your mind, know that its ok yet find time to gather yourself and look for that little silver lining because this is life and although it may seem that you are the one that seems to be getting hit with all the bad in this world it is because you’re a warrior and the amazing God wants to grace your hearts with deepest of lessons to the life your building forward in.  He does not want to see you suffocated in darkness, God knows and shall lift you, even though in that very moment you don’t feel there is anything to hold on to you will find it.  When finding crushing news to our hearts not knowing the outcome we cannot boggle our minds with what ifs, what is going to happen, we have to know in our hearts that no matter the outcome we are strong enough to do it and keep pushing through it, I’ve lost so many people of great love to me that when things of the same nature come up through others so close to me it’s so hard for me to turn that negative off, but in our all,  heart,  mind and soul we have to bring in the bright, to know deep in us to feel of the positive is to feel the love of God helping us in our moments of true hurt, scared, unknown, it is through all that we have to bring forth our faith, trust, love in God that this whatever it may be will be another lesson to your soul. 

It’s so very hard to get yourself back up but backed by the belief in God you shall stand once again yet for the millionth time through your life.  It’s been way too long I allowed fear to control my thoughts that I took my turn into God to understand that I trade that fear in for faith, for his love, to know deep in us all is a warrior for all things that lay ahead, for us to gather others to find their warrior in them as well, to not be scared, fearful, negative because in that all you give up you, you give up your love blessed to you by God, so standing in the light through the hardest of times is possible you just have to find deep in you to stand strong, to take the waves of the tides that come on strong but leave silently as fast as they came in.  To worry of something you have no answers to is to burden yourself with things that are out of your control, to understand it is bringing you down to worry of things you have no answers to, that when the time comes you will rise above to face whatever it is you are dealt with.  Just because your heart has dealt so much pain does not mean it will be the same of every time you go through toughest of moments with others close to your heart.  It’s funny because through the hardest of times it is actually being able to help others to make me realise that there is nothing greater for your soul than to give.

Two very special people in my life are faced with unknown results yet through it I choose to stand in the light to free the thoughts of negativity, to not only allow myself free of stress for no reason but to bring in positive to the person close to me to their life, to wait and not fall into darkness to understand to send out positivity to the universe will be given back to your heart.  No matter how many times I was faced with the horror of bad news it is now I stand strong full of my all of positivity to let the universe know it is what I need back, that the love of God will grant us whatever it is we need to make it through the moments that lay ahead but for now we stay in the present moments to smile, laugh and just love.  It’s also so hard to my heart to let it care for another, it is hard to let go in the knowing of what I lost before, yet I know in my heart that has a mind of its own and to shut out caring for someone is to not to be living at all.  We are first and always LOVE, backed by the greatest love of all God.  If not for his love we would not be able to stand tall through the things we have endured, gracefully through the joyous of times that to would of never of been if not turning to God instead of turning to dark.

The one special person to me unknown of outcome doesn’t really know just how much I care, yet my heart hasn’t really allowed that out in fear of the outcome, so I lean into God, I lean into my love and will find the way to let go and jump in no matter what the outcome may be.  No denying the heart is resistant once lost the greatest love of all, yet even the heart can be brave enough to let go and do it again, knowing that love is love and we are love, to not love is to say you do not breathe. 

When dealt with so much of painful of times it is so hard for the heart to keep on keeping on yet through it you find the ways to look back and see just how far you got.  It’s so hard to bare the news of bad news but in that bad news you have to not succumb to the evil of negativity and start thinking of the outcome, understanding these people are not the people you have lost their destiny is not of the same of those you lost, just understand the warrior in you is yet again ready for another battle of blessings, silver linings and so much of the deepest love.  You as a person have been dealt with more growth, looking around to understand to pull in others to teach upon them to of what it was you have learned so they too will build to the warrior they need to be.  I don’t want to lose no more people so close to my heart but I have to let go of that to understand to be here making the memories of the greatest to our lives.  To understand God knows when he needs to hold my hand, to carry me through the walks he knows I can’t, just for only a little while until the strength gets stronger in me again through him onto me.  I’m thinking right now how my heart has chosen on its own to care for another, which not even acknowledging me my heart made the choice, so here I am unsure of it all but understand what ever it will be it will be.  If maybe it is just one sided that is the lesson I will learn in it, if not than I need to jump all in not ever thinking once what the future holds because it is in the now we are living and to keep your heart locked up is to not live at all.  Was hard to stand over someone I cared for that really didn’t know the feelings I held in me to see them so lifeless, yet as I stood there I knew that whatever shall be will be that to worry of other than the present is a waste to ourselves and that person you care so much for.

As for the other person that waits for their results is a person of great significance to my life and is so hard for me to keep standing in the light knowing of just how many I have lost in my life but for our hearts sake I smile to the positive and know whatever we face we will face that when the moment is when it arrives,  for now we will love and make the greatest of memories as we go along.  It’s hard for me to understand or put into perspective to of as why so much has been taken from me but to know there are no answers to any of the questions to believe through each person I’ve found the greatest of lessons, that with God’s love I will always find my way, my strength, my warrior within.  I’m with heavy heart for quite some time but you have to lift that heart look up and smile in knowing his love is on your side that through the shadows of life he will always pull you out from it all to let you find the deepest of lessons to your heart.  To think why is this happening to me again?  To think why do I keep going through these hard moments in life?  To feeling sorry for yourself will not bring any answers to you but only lead you out of the light you stand in.

Yes not going to deny it my heart hurts, it hurts for so many reasons, for the reasons of this person I care so much for may be headed for something faced with once already but how do I just make the feelings I have go away, there’s no way to, I smile in knowing that in the now though in the now we have nothing but the best and beautiful to look for, if only I can find the words to let this person know without fear of finding out it may be one sided, if that is it then that shall be and no bringing myself down and still care for that person and what they go through.  Never thought my heart could care for another again but to my surprise out of nowhere it has and that alone makes me smile in knowing that Yes I most certainly care and want to be with another again.  Most consume all of their fears of what happened to them before they truly lock up their all to the life they need to live, they lock up their love to let in God to help them in their times of need.  Breathe and understand no matter how hard your heart can care for another again.

To bury the burden of your heart is to embrace, hug and love those that face the same of situations, to be there for those that hearts are heavy as well.  Finding it through your own hurt to love onto others is the gem of life to your very own life.  To know that what lays ahead is not to be of worry to being in the now, that it is out of your hands to have faith in God that it will be what it shall be, that when the time comes you won’t be alone to face that alone.  God does not give the hardest of times to be hurtful he gives those moments to own it all and walk strongly through it finding the lesson to your whole being.  It’s oh so hard to not lean into the bad thoughts of what could be but leaning in with positive is leaning into the universe letting it feel you’re positive to back you with positive that you give out.  Ask for what you shall want, and in the asking shall be heard.  It’s so hard for all of me to even see that positive yet in all of me I dig so deep to hold on to know in my heart that all I’ve been through will help me in the outcome of what is.

Tears of flowing come from time to time yet believing in those tears are tears that drop of hope, faith, love and Belief.  Even though you may fall off the wagon its ok to know that it happens that you are not the only one that life is full of falling down, it’s when you get back up is when you see the difference in you from before.  In that lying down you see things in the eyes of a different way to hear in the silence the lessons of love being called upon to you.  It has been so much of hard times for me that I just have to believe that no matter what I am here, I am loved, I am supported, I am a warrior, that to see it of only being dealt with so much bad is to see it through the wrong way of eyes, that it has nothing to do with bad, it is a life that you are learning, growing, building, that everything is a teaching onto you to teach onto others with the greatest of love and compassion you carry for baring the scars that you do.

The future is unknown but the now is here so live it, breathe it, love it, look to others that need your hand, see God is not very far from what it you are going through.  Taking chances to be vulnerable to another of feelings you carry is part of life to keep that bottled up is being behind bars to never fully take in your life to the fullest, to have things not turn out in your favor is not a turn down because of who you are it is a moment that is just not of to be right now, but perhaps it will lead back to the way it was supposed to be as you thought it should be.  I pray, I love, I seek others in pain, I gather it all to know in the now is all we have, so why not smile and look to the beauty all around, to take it all in to know love is greater than anything put in our way.  Yes as I sat alone to my surprise something happened in my heart to feel for another that never was expected but he faces a battle but in faith I only seek for the now and the future will be whatever it shall be, we have no control to make things be the way they are supposed to be, it shall all align to the divine life of what your meant to walk through.

I pray from deepest of my heart that both these people so close to me are filled with love, that the outcome of their future is strength we all will need when we get there, to know it all will turn out how it is supposed to be, for no matter what the outcome I will remain who I am to know if it turns out to be not of how I envisioned  that the belief in God’s love it will be something bigger than imagined and the strength to endure it with the warrior in me.  In a sigh of breath I find the strength to make it through the minutes of now to move to the future of answers that lay ahead.  With all my love I give up to the Lord to know all of what I can handle.

NOTE TO ALL:  To close off your heart to not care is to not be living at all, to believe you hold the answers to the future is to give up faith in God up above, it is to erase that there is even a God because he is the only one that knows of our future, so to think the control of the future is in your hands is to erase God’s love to your life and to elude you of all positive, love, blessings that come into your life.  To worry of things that are unknown is to weigh your own self down to a level where your strength disappears.  We know not of the future, we know not of what happens, or what lays ahead of us that we miss the precious in the now moments of important memories to be made.  To close your heart to care for someone is to be prisoner or puppet to a life not truly being lived, say out loud what it is you feel if it is not returned then that moment is not of the right timing, it is not you, not because of you it is just not the path you are to be on in this present moment, but to not forget that maybe later on that will be the timing of right.  Be the warrior you carry in you and live in the now to fight the moments in the now and onto others who face the same that may not be the warrior in their times of need, be the warrior to their life that they need in their time of weakness.    Don’t allow the negativity to be the driver in your life step on the breaks and take control of how you want to drive through your own life.

This is in dedication to all the warriors facing the greatest of battles even though you may not know me I stand strong with love and faith to battle the battle along side of you.